Updated Tourney Sked

Has anyone actually buried the Corpse of Jeff Sillin? Or does it yet roam? Here's the thing: ELE has never won a game. Not one. 0-14 over two seasons. But we don't care. All you have to do is show up and your team will always have a shot in the Tourney. But when you stop showing up, don't let anyone know, then vanish...

You get voted out of the Tourney.

Here's the updated Tournament schedule...

FRIDAY AUG. 6:

9:30 AM - Embassy (4) @ Around The Horn (1)
Umped by Kevin + 1 GoodFella + 1 Slacker

11:00 AM - GoodFellas (3) @ Slackers (2)
Umped by 2 from Embassy + 1 from Around The Horn

12:30 PM - Winners play, higher seed home
Umped by Kevin + 1 from each of the other (losing) teams

Regular Season Ends

ELE (Forfeit)
GoodFellas

Slackers
ELE (Forfeit)

Around The Horn 10
Embassy 6

The official Tournament schedule will be posted soon.

Note: If you're not going to field a team on a given day, please have the courtesy to let your opposing captain (and Kevin) know. Not asking for much more than very basic manners.

Results from July 23

ELE 6
Around The Horn 13

GoodFellas 20
Embassy 11

Embassy 6
Slackers 20

Notes:

- Around The Horn have clinched the top overall seed for the Tourney.
- The Slackers have clinched the #2 seed.
- The Embassy crew & GoodFellas have the same record at 3-4, but GoodFellas own the tiebreaker due to the head-to-head record (two games to none). The Embassy can still get the 3rd seed, but they have to beat Around The Horn next week and have GoodFellas lose to ELE. Any other result, and GoodFellas end up as the #3 seed.
- As mentioned before, ELE is locked in as the #5 seed.

Here's what's coming up...

July 30:

9:00 AM: ELE @ GoodFellas (Slackers)
10:30 AM: Slackers @ ELE (GoodFellas)
NOON: Around the Horn @ Embassy (ELE)

Tourney (Aug. 6):

9:00 AM PLAY-IN: #5 ELE @ #4 Seed
10:30 AM SEMI 1: #3 Seed @ #2 Slackers
NOON SEMI 2: #5/#4 Winner @ #1 Around The Horn*
1:30 PM FINAL: Semis Winners Play, Higher Seed Home
*NOTE: #1 Seed can choose which Semis time slot to play.

Eagerly Losing Everything

Hey, you degenerates!

Greetings from Ohio, home of $15 cases of beer and the sexy bodies that drink them. In a related item: How many 250-pound women can you fit into a size small halter top? Every damn one of them, apparently. Also a related item: They're f&*#ing called SKINNY jeans, you fat f&*%ing f&#ks.

I really need to go on a crash diet. I already feel myself verging. We don't want to verge, people. Never, ever verge.

I believe there's something of a softball season going on out there, yes? How's that working out for all y'all? Shut up. Don't answer that. I will tell YOU how it's working out...

Around The Horn's magic number is 1, meaning either one more win by them or one more loss by the Embassy, and they clinch the Tournament's top seed. Around The Horn's next game just happens to be against the winless and forfeit-happy ELE. Vegas is refusing to make odds.

For the Embassy to get the top seed, they need to win all three of their remaining games and have Around The Horn lose both of their remaining games. So it realistically looks like a three-way race for the second seed, because...

The Slackers & GoodFellas have been eliminated from the race for the top seed, but they both are alive for #2. All of this will work itself out, most likely by the end of this Friday's games, as the Embassy is taking on both GoodFellas and the Slackers.

ELE is locked in at #5 for the Tourney. That's 11 games and zero wins over the span of (almost) two seasons for the Sponsored Ones. Drink up, kids. My next case of $15 beer shall be guzzled in your honor.

IMPORTANT: Updated-revised-typed-and-PDF'd Rules(!) & an up-to-date schedule/results table can now be downloaded in the Downloadables section of this blog. If you can't find the Downloadables section, please click here.

Here's what you'll be doing this Friday...

July 23:

9:00 AM: ELE @ Around the Horn (Umps: Embassy)
10:30 AM: GoodFellas @ Embassy (Around the Horn)
NOON: Embassy @ Slackers (GoodFellas)

Enjoy it. Anyone want to chime in with early predictions? Anyone...?

PS: Declan started walking last week.

Scores & Schedule Update - Through Week 5

Kevin Rowlson is back in the HKJ to get all you degenerates in line. He is Acting Commish. Call him Boss.

Here's your complete results & schedule update. The current standings are at the top of the green sidebar, on the right of this page. Take small bites & chew thoroughly...

June 18:

Embassy 9
Around The Horn 18

GoodFellas 8
Slackers 18

June 25:

Around The Horn (WIN)
ELE (FORFEIT)

Around The Horn 14
GoodFellas 11

Slackers 7
Embassy 8

July 2:

Around The Horn 11 (Kissed Own Sister)
Slackers 11 (Also Kissed Own Sister)
     (Final - Played 8 Innings)

ELE 8
Embassy 32

GoodFellas 26
ELE 8

July 9:

Embassy (FORFEIT)
GoodFellas (WIN)

Slackers 20
GoodFellas 14

ELE 6
Slackers 19

July 16:

Embassy (WIN)
ELE (FORFEIT)

GoodFellas 9
Around the Horn 25

Slackers 9
Around the Horn 15

July 23:

9:00 AM: ELE @ Around the Horn (Embassy)
10:30 AM: GoodFellas @ Embassy (Around the Horn)
NOON: Embassy @ Slackers (GoodFellas)

July 30:

9:00 AM: ELE @ GoodFellas (Slackers)
10:30 AM: Slackers @ ELE (GoodFellas)
NOON: Around the Horn @ Embassy (ELE)

Tourney (Aug. 6):

9:00 AM PLAY-IN: #5 Seed @ #4 Seed
10:30 AM SEMI 1: #3 Seed @ #2 Seed
NOON SEMI 2: #5/#4 Winner @ #1 Seed
1:30 PM FINAL: Semis Winners Play, Higher Seed Home

Schedule - Rest O' The Way

Game times, as usual, are 9:00 AM, 10:30 AM & Noon.
(Umping assignments are in parentheses.)

July 16:
Embassy @ ELE (Around the Horn)
GoodFellas @ Around the Horn (ELE)
Slackers @ Around the Horn (GoodFellas)

July 23:
ELE @ Around the Horn (Embassy)
GoodFellas @ Embassy (Around the Horn)
Embassy @ Slackers (GoodFellas)

July 30:
ELE @ GoodFellas (Slackers)
Slackers @ ELE (GoodFellas)
Around the Horn @ Embassy (ELE)

Tourney (Aug. 6):
9:00 AM PLAY-IN: #5 Seed @ #4 Seed
10:30 AM SEMI 1: #3 Seed @ #2 Seed
NOON SEMI 2: #5/#4 Winner @ #1 Seed
1:30 PM FINAL: Semis Winners Play, Higher Seed Home

REVISED July 9 Sked

July 9:
9:00 AM - US Embassy @ GoodFellas (2 Slackers)
10:30 AM - Slackers @ GoodFellas (2 ELE)
Noon - ELE @ Slackers (2 GoodFellas)

Season 9, Episode 1 Results & Future Sked

June 18 (Week 1) Results:

US Embassy 9
Around The Horn 18

GoodFellas 8
Slackers 18

YOUR FUTURE...

Game 1 is at 9:00 AM, Game 2 at 10:30 AM, Game 3 at Noon(Umping Assignments in Parentheses)

June 25:
Around The Horn @ ELE (2 GoodFellas)
Around The Horn @ GoodFellas (1 Slacker + 1 ELE)
Slackers @ US Embassy (2 Around The Horn)

July 2:
Around The Horn @ Slackers (2 ELE)
ELE @ US Embassy (2 Around The Horn)
GoodFellas @ ELE (2 US Embassy)

July 9:
ELE @ Slackers (2 GoodFellas)
Slackers @ GoodFellas (2 ELE)
US Embassy @ GoodFellas (2 Slackers)

Questions from Week 1:

1. Overthrows that reach the fence beyond the dugouts (or go through the dugout or outfield fence openings) result in a timeout and runners are limited to ONE base from the last base they safely reached. If a runner is on his way to 2nd when the ball is overthrown, the runner gets 2nd only, not 3rd. And yes, the ball must reach the fence. If it stops anywhere in between, it's a live ball. (There's no way we can call time on a ball that's 3 feet from the foul line, and there's no natural barrier other thean the fence.) If the overthrow lands to the backstop side of the dugout doors, it is a live ball & runners can advance at will.

2. We nixed the punishment for missed umping assignments last season. I understand the Embassy guys took off without leaving an ump behind. The captains will discuss what to do about this, for all such instances & we'll try it for this season.

ASL Season Nine

Episode 1, Friday, June 18:

10:00 AM - Embassy @ Around the Horn
Umps: 1 Slacker & 1 GoodFella

11:30 AM - Slackers @ GoodFellas
Umps: 1 Embassy & 1 Around the Horn

Draft! (Not Just Beer): It's Green Again

Winter 2010 Tournament Results...

Semis Game 1:

Slackers 13
GoodFellas 9

Semis Game 2:

ELE La Calle 4
Green Monsters 18

Championship:

Slackers 10
Green Monsters 23

Tourney Time

The Winter 2010 Tournament is here.
Or shall we call it ASL Cup VIII, just to be pretentious?

Friday, March 19th:

11:30 AM - Slackers @ GoodFellas (Umps: 2 ELE + 1 Monster)
12:45 PM - ELE La Calle @ Green Monsters (Umps: 3 Slackers)
2:15 PM - Winners of Semis, with higher seed home (Umps: TBD)

Almost There

Barebonesloggin'...

Friday, March 12:

Slackers 21
ELE La Calle 19

GoodFellas 11
Green Monsters 19

Tourney Seeds:

1. Green Monsters (5-0)
2. GoodFellas (3-2)
3. Slackers (2-3)
4. ELE La Calle (0-5)

Regular season recap? Tourney preview? Anyone?

More of the Same (Plus: Fattoria!)

Week Four...

ELE La Calle 5
GoodFellas 7

Slackers 9
Green Monsters 16

Only two games remain for each team before the Tournament.

Three to go...

Friday, March 5:
Noon: ELE La Calle @ GoodFellas (Umps: 1 Slacker + 1 Monster)
1:30 PM: Slackers @ Green Monsters (Umps: 1 ELE + 1 GoodFella)

Saturday, March 6:
Time TBD: Slackers @ GoodFellas (Umps: 2 Monsters)
*This is a makeup of a Feb. 26 game*

Friday, March 12:
Noon: Slackers @ ELE La Calle (Umps: 1 GoodFella + 1 Monster)
1:30 PM: GoodFellas @ Green Monsters (Umps: 1 Slacker + 1 ELE)

Saturday, March 13:
Time TBD: Green Monsters @ ELE La Calle (Umps: TBD)
*This is a makeup of a Feb. 26 game*

Friday, March 19:
TOURNAMENT
11:15 AM: #3 Seed @ #2 Seed
12:30 PM: #4 Seed @ #1 Seed
2:00 PM: Semis Winners (Higher Seed Home)

Three Down...

UPDATE THURSDAY FEB 25 @ 2:00 PM:
NO SOFTBALL ON FEB. 26 (RAIN)
MAKEUP INFO HERE SOON

Friday, Feb. 19:

ELE La Calle 9
Slackers 24

Green Monsters 22
Slackers 11

Green Monsters 19
GoodFellas 11

Friday, Feb. 26:
Noon: Slackers @ GoodFellas (Umps 1 Monster + 1 ELE)
1:30 PM: Green Monsters @ ELE La Calle (Umps: 1 Slacker + 1 GoodFella)

Friday, March 5:
Noon: ELE La Calle @ GoodFellas (Umps: 1 Slacker + 1 Monster)
1:30 PM: Slackers @ Green Monsters (Umps: 1 ELE + 1 GoodFella)

Friday, March 12:
Noon: Slackers @ ELE La Calle (Umps: 1 GoodFella + 1 Monster)
1:30 PM: GoodFellas @ Green Monsters (Umps: 1 Slacker + 1 ELE)

Friday, March 19:
TOURNAMENT
11:15 AM: #3 Seed @ #2 Seed
12:30 PM: #4 Seed @ #1 Seed
2:00 PM: Semis Winners (Higher Seed Home)

Bears! Laziness! Murder! Shoeshines!

-No refunds. Consider your refund escaping this death trap with your lives!
From the movie Semi-Pro

-Slut.
-Buttwipe.
-Hoe.
-Monkey boy.
From the movie Slackers

-We can be as different as we wanna be, but you can't kill people!
-Says who!? I'm good with the Lord.
From the movie Monster

-Now go home and get your fuckin' shinebox.
From the movie Goodfellas

GAME TIMES HAVE CHANGED! (Updated Feb 17 @ Noonish)

We're pushing back the start times by just a few minutes to accommodate Little League, who will use the field for practice on Friday mornings.

Feb 19:
11:00 AM: ELE La Calle @ Slackers (Umps: 2 Monsters)
12:15 PM: Green Monsters @ Slackers (1 ELE + 1 GoodFella)
1:30 PM: Green Monsters @ GoodFellas (2 Slackers)

Comment moderation has been lifted. You're free to air it out. Have at each other.

Seriously, you shortbus riding halfwits. Get mean. We miss the mean!

Winter Season Is ... Balmy

UPDATED GAME TIMES FOR WEEK TWO BELOW!

70+ degrees out there today. Welcome to Jordan.

GoodFellas 17
Slackers 10

GoodFellas 23
ELE La Calle 15

ELE La Calle 6
Green Monsters 16

GoodFellas are your first first-place team of the season. Read that line over a few hundred times until it sinks in.

GAME TIMES HAVE CHANGED! (Updated Feb 17 @ Noonish)
Feb 19:
11:00 AM: ELE La Calle @ Slackers (Umps: 2 Monsters)
12:15 PM: Green Monsters @ Slackers (1 ELE + 1 GoodFella)
1:30 PM: Green Monsters @ GoodFellas (2 Slackers)

Comment moderation has been lifted. You're free to air it out. Have at each other.

Winter Season Is ... Wintry

UPDATED WITH UMPING ASSIGNMENTS The latest start yet to our winter season is once again pushed back by Meteorological Events ... or God, depending on your preference. Here's what was supposed to happen, in case your team captain is a schmuck and didn't let you know: Feb 5 (Snowed Out): 11:30 AM: GoodFellas @ Slackers 1:30 PM: ELE @ Green Monsters Here's what will happen: Feb 12: 10:30 AM: GoodFellas @ Slackers (Umps: 2 ELE) 12:00 PM: GoodFellas @ ELE (1 Slacker + 1 Monster) 1:30 PM: ELE @ Green Monsters (2 GoodFellas) Feb 19: 10:30 AM: ELE @ Slackers (Umps: 2 Monsters) 12:00 PM: Green Monsters @ Slackers (1 ELE + 1 GoodFella) 1:30 PM: Green Monsters @ GoodFellas (2 Slackers) And here's what's already happened: Jan 29 (Pre-Season Exhibitions): Slackers 17 ELE 8 GoodFellas 0 Green Monsters 5 Team Colors: Slackers: Orange GoodFellas: Black with Yellow Green Monsters: Green with White ELE: Dunno. Haven't heard. As you warm yourself by the fire of your burning books, try to solve the mystery of what ELE stands for. Here are a few tries from Amman Softball League's Central Toilet... Eeyore Leeches Everything Ever-Lactating Ewes Eritrea Lacks Enchiladas Eleutherophobes Love Ethnocracies Egregious Lexiphanicism Employed Get all the updates and scratch your social networking itch by hooking up with Amman Softball League on Facebook. The link is with the angry softball logo, in the upper right of these here Slogs.