Monsters Slouch Towards Slogway Park

And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?
W.B. Yeats - The Second Coming

Green Monsters 21, Hit Squad 20

It's Holiday time, and your Slogger is feelin' apocalyptic. When an Amman Softball League team flies in a player from another country to play in one game against their hated rivals, you know the end is near. And when that player hits three home runs, including one out-of-the-park shot, and nearly carries his team to victory, you might as well assume that the end has already come.

Larry Martin dropped in from Baghdad, on his way back home to the US, making his dramatic return to ASL with those taters. All three of his Hit Squad rounders were hit at, near, or above my wife, the lovely Brooke Sartawi. Why so mean, Larry? Brooke did have the last laugh, though, as her team won, with Monsters shortstop Dan McEwan going 5-for-5 with 4 runs and 6 RBI's. [Disclosure: I'm the Monsters co-captain, so I'll keep the game "commentary" to a minimum.]

Hit Squad were up 6-5 after the 1st inning and 12-7 after three. The Green Monsters went on a 14-2 run in the 4th & 5th to take a 21-14 lead, before holding on for the 21-20 win. Some key performers included Hit Squad's Ali Lejlic (4-4, IPHR) and Greenie Tom Manning (5-5, 2 3B's). Green Monsters are now tied for first place, while Hit Squad drop into a tie for third.

Hit Squad co-captain Mark McPherson is trying to get Larry back in town for the Tournament in March. The Monsters are all for it, but how funny would it be if he did move mountains to return, only to have that day's games get rained out? The over/under on the level of Funny is currently "Very," so place your bets.

Larry Martin and Nuri Al-Maliki, beer league buddies.

Larry tried to teach softball to his Iraqi counterparts, but I'm not sure they got it. Here are Iraqi Prime Minister Nuri Al-Maliki's Top Ten Softball Tips:

10. Split your softball team into three autonomous teams; kill each other.
9. Send your players to a softball training camp. When they return, kill them.
8. Send 10% of your roster to other teams, thus driving up their cost of living.
7. Buy a Mercedes for each of your players, then claim poverty and have the other teams pay your entry fee.
6. Replace 1st base with a land mine. If your base coach gets hurt, blame Iran.
5. When one of your players reaches 2nd base, issue a statement claiming victory is at hand.
4. When he's thrown out at 3rd, blame Syria.
3. Allow your fans to rush the field during the game and attack your opponent with bats. But to show you're really a good sport, allow each attacker to carry only one bat.
2. Claim your opponent's score is exaggerated because the scorekeeper cannot possibly know the reality of of how softball affects you.
1. If all else fails, blame Kurret al-Qaeda.

One Win, Two Win, Red Win, Blue Win...and 'Roid Rage

Where do they come from? I can't say.
But I bet they have come a long, long way.
Dr. Seuss - One Fish Two Fish

4U2NV 24, Trojans 23 (7 Innings)

4U2NV celebrate their first win with some...fruit juice and granola.

What a fantastic game. When a handful of Bling Bling's players broke ranks and created the Trojans, with the rest of the Blingers regrouping to form 4U2NV, an instant rivalry was born.

It was a back-and-forth nailbiter, with Saif Barhoum's defectors holding on to a 21-18 lead going into the bottom of the 6th inning. Team Envy would not be denied, though, and they rallied to tie the game and force that extra inning.

As they had all game, the Trojans rose to the occasion behind the bats of Laith Masri and Laith Barhoum, re-taking the lead, 23-21, before giving Envy their at-bats. All week, the Gheereh bunch emphasized patience and plate discipline. That strategy paid off with walk after walk, including captain Neal Zureikat being forced home with the winning run on Ball Four.

Kevin Rowlson filled in for absent Envy pitcher King Khaled. The Trojans were good sports about it. But then Kevin got hurt, and Santa/Freak Shukri Saleh stepped in. The Trojans protested, offering to allow Shuk to pitch, but not bat. All or nothing were the choices they were given, and being good sports, they went with all. But as co-captain Laith Barhoum said, "One player shouldn't have made the difference."

And it wasn't just that one player. 4U2NV's women, Tamara Goudian with her stellar outfield defense, and Suzy Sawalha and Maha Swais with their disciplined bats, all played great games. For their part, the Trojans have one of the best female players in the league in Wajiha Husseini.

During the post-game celebration, 4U2NV's co-captain Jawad Dabbas delivered a clasic line at the expense of his fallen foes: "The Trojans are so ineffective, they should change their name to the Morning After Pills."

It could have been worse, though, as the Trojans could have gone with a different brand:


Given the options, I'd say Trojans were the right choice.

Nomads 18, Slackers 15

This would have been the space where details of the game were provided, but there is some disturbing news breaking right now. Shukri Saleh, last season's Home Run Champ (and ASL's career HR leader), has been included in a special addendum to the Mitchell Report.

When reached for comment, Shukri denied the allegations and challenged the accusers to test him. "They just want to take down the champ," said a defiant Shuk. "Test me. I'll give blood samples, hair, poop, whatever you want."

So confident of his skills, Shukri offered to swing a wooden bat from now on--while in handcuffs.

In the most damning part of the report, Shuk's former personal trainer, Manfookh Abu Adallat, is quoted as saying, "If one of his teammates sniffed Shukri's armpits, that player would fail a steroids test. That's how 'roided up he is."

Speaking of Shuk's teammates, was that 'Roid Rage by Nomads captain Omar Massarweh after he was called out at 3rd base against the Slackers? Omar could not be reached for comment, but a source close to him opined that it was not very likely.

"I wish Omar were on steroids," said the source, on condition of anonymity. "When he goes to a healthy restaurant, he dips the lettuce in mayonnaise. I doubt he's juicing."

When a third Nomad was linked to steroids, he seemed at first to confess. The player, who will not be mentioned because he was exonerated by a proctologist, was asked if we was "on the 'roids."

"Aywa, mazboot," he replied. "Walla hal bawaseer gatlatni."

Week 2 Results: Tighty Whitey Edition

Your humble Slogger has to get in a better mood. I'll add more details as soon as that happens, and hopefully some of it will be amusing. It was a day full of great, tight games, with the lowest combined margin of victory for three games in our five-season history. Green Monsters 21, Hit Squad 20 Nomads 18, Slackers 15 4U2NV 24, Trojans 23 (7)

Week Two Preview: Old Friends Meet Again

It's Rivalry Week, kids. Three games, three opportunities for absolute mayhem. 10:00 AM - Green Monsters @ Hit Squad (Umps: Slackers) The two teams share a common ancestor in 2005's Intruders. Renamed the Green Monsters the following summer, several of the current players from both these teams won that season's championship together. The next season, the Monsters essentially split into three teams: the Beats, along with the Sluggos--who lost the championship game to (you guessed it) the Green Monsters. The Sluggos and Beats are in the arms of History now, with Hit Squad being the latest team to try to knock off their distant Green cousins. We hear that ringers are being flown in from all corners of the globe. It'll be intense, for sure. 11:30 AM - Slackers @ Nomads (Umps: 4U2NV) The Jordan Derby pits Amman Softball League's two best teams with all-local roots--and easily the highest collective blood pressure in any game you'll see this season. The first game between these impassioned rivals was tight until the Slackers lost control of their emotions and gave the game away. But the Slackers have to be wondering if the Nomads have looked past this game. With all the trash talking going on between the 'Mads and a team they're not even playing this week, have the Bedouins already chalked this one up as a win? 1:00 PM - Trojans @ 4U2NV (Umps: Hit Squad) Of all the possible scenarios going into this season, I don't think anyone could have predicted that Bling Bling would split into two teams. But they did, and there is now some bad blood between the Trojans and 4U2NV. Trojans captain Saif Barhoum, himself a Blingvet, hand-picked a few former teammates and, along with brother and team screamer Laith, put together a new team. This left the other Blingers sad and homeless. That is, until Neal Zureikat put together 4U2NV, a team with great potential and women who can seriously play the game. And now they're all trying to burst the Trojans bubble.

Week One Results: Blood Follows Rain

A couple of massacres during Week One -- and a nice comeback that needed an extra inning before it reached the FDA-recommended internal cooking temperature. DEC. 8, 2007: Nomads 30, 4U2NV 2 Hit Squad 19, Trojans 14 (7 innings) Green Monsters 33, Slackers 11 A few notes: * 4U2NV does not exist just for you to envy. They exist for you, too, Nevada. * Them Nomads look tough. Last year's home run champ was freakin' pitching for them. * The Trojans could not protect a lead. Punsters, have fun in the comments section. * Hit Squad has heart. On such a large team, great things will happen if the pecking order is decided by game skills. * The Slackers just want to say: Yil3an abu umm jamal sittek fi sitteen surmayeh! * The Green Monsters have reloaded. Come get us.

Let's Beat Up On Each Other, Eh?

We had some fun with the preseason exhibition warming up crap, but it's time the games counted for something. Amman Softball League will kick off regular season play for the Winter League this Saturday, December 8th. Here's your schedule: 10:00 AM: Nomads @ 4U2NV (Umps: 2 Trojans) 11:30 AM: Hit Squad @ Trojans (Umps: 2 Nomads) 1:00 PM: Green Monsters @ Slackers (Umps: 2 Hit Squad) PLEASE show up with competent people to umpire when it's your turn. This is your league. ---------------------------------------------- The revised rules, team registration form and the rest of the schedule are all available for you to download in the Slogs Downloadables, in the green sidebar on the right of your screen. From the new rules, which were approved by all the captains, comes the following nugget: Warm-ups: We’re having none of it between innings. Please switch quickly and be ready to play. The schedule for warm-ups, using the small field, breaks down thusly: •Game 1 (10:00 AM): Visitors get small field prior to game time; Home may use big field. •Game 2 (11:30 AM): Visitors get small field from 10:00-10:40; Home from 10:40-11:20. •Game 3 (1:00 PM): Visitors get small field from 11:30-12:10; Home from 12:10-12:50. •Game 4 (2:30 PM): Visitors get small field from 1:00-1:40; Home from 1:40-2:20. This is crucial for managing our limited game time. Please do not bring balls out to the infield between innings. Little League is having some baseball activities on Fridays this month, so the big field will not be available for practice on those days. You may, however, use the small field on any day, provided you reserve a spot in the comments section of THIS POST, which will be valid for THIS WEEK. Cool? (There will be a practice reservation post every week.) NOTE: On behalf of Mark, Hit Squad has the small field for practice this Friday, Dec. 7, from Noon-2 PM. Everyone else, please use the comments section. And another thing: Teams may add an extra Extra Hitter this season. If you use two EH's, at least one must be a female. Finally: Please read the rules.

Looking Forward (And Back)

Hey kids. Softball's back. Season 5, and we'll be better than the 5th seasons of "The Sopranos" and "24" combined. (Reminder: Vito + Dammit.) See? We're better already. We'll kick off with some preseason warmup games this Saturday, December 1st, at ALLA (where we played in the summer). Here's your sked: 10:00 AM: Trojans @ 4U2NV 11:30 AM: Green Monsters @ Thunder BunniesHit Squad 1:00 PM: Slackers @ Nomads Your captains have some info. I'll contact all you loose singles who do not have a team very soon. No worries--you already have SlogsHomes for the winter. More will be posted here in the next couple of days. But if you long for some softball action, feast your eyes on the 2007 SlogsCenter Play of the Year: I defy anyone to stage this shot and pull it off. Unbelievable.

The Traitors: 2007 ASL Summer Champions

A perfect picture: The undefeated champs.

After steamrolling through the regular season and the first two rounds of the playoffs, the Traitors met the Nomads. Instead of extending their hand in friendship, the Nomads reared back and punched the Traitors in the face. The score going into the bottom of the third inning: Nomads 19, Traitors 1.

Nomads nineteen, Traitors one.

Everyone on the Nomads was hitting and scoring, especially Shukri Saleh, this season's Home Run King. He launched two home runs (way out), giving him three for the day and six for the season.

The Gatoradin' Traitors then got their act together, shutting down the Nomads offense and chipping away at the lead, inning by inning. 19-1 became 19-7, then 19-16, 19-17...and 19-19 after the regulation six innings.

Let's play an extra inning. The Nomads got back on their fightin' horses and scored three more runs in the 7th. 22-19, Nomads. The Traitors had one more shot to complete their undefeated season.

Four runs were needed to win, and four runs they got. Final score: Traitors 23, Nomads 22.

Congratulations to all the players on both teams for the most memorable game in our four-season history. And to everyone who played and came out to watch in support of Amman Softball League--and to Amman Little League Association--a big thank you from me.

Much more on the playoffs and the 2007 Summer season in the next two days months years [Seriously, WTF!?]. We're also going to tip our hats to Brent Faulkner and Dick Hart, who got this whole thing started back in 2005. Come on back. For now, give it up for your 2007 Summer Champs...The Traitors.

Here's a quick rundown of the Tournament results:
Round 1:
Slackers 13, Sluggos 11
Eagles 20, Bling Bling 6
Nomads 23, Beats 6
Traitors "1", Stars 0
Semis:
Traitors 13, Slackers 6
Nomads 17, Eagles 16 (thrilling game)
Final:
Traitors 23, Nomads 22 (7 Innings)

Tournament Brackets & Schedule

Click on the image to get your own PDF of the Tournament brackets.

Tournament Schedule:

Game A: 9:00 AM

(5) Slackers @ (4) Sluggos

Umps: One from Eagles + One from Bling Bling

Game B: 10:10 AM

(6) Bling Bling @ (3) Eagles

Umps: One from Sluggos + One from Slackers

Game C: 11:20 AM

(7) Beats @ (2) Nomads

Umps: One from Traitors + One from Stars

Game D: 12:30 PM

(8) Stars @ (1) Traitors

Umps: One from Nomads + One from Beats

************

Semifinal 1: 1:45 PM

Winners of Games A & D

Umps: Two from Game C Losing Team

Semifinal 2: 3:00 PM

Winners of Games B & C

Umps: Two from Game D Losing Team

************

Championship: 4:30 PM

Semifinal 1 & 2 Winners

Umps: Mude + TBD

Schedule Change: Friday August 10

Friday, August 10: 9:00 AM: Traitors @ Slackers (Umps: Sluggos) 10:30 AM: Beats @ Sluggos (Umps: Slackers) Noon: Expats vs Jordan All-Star Game (Umps TBD) 1:30 PM: Eagles @ Nomads (Umps: Traitors) 3:00 PM: Bling Bling @ Stars (Umps: Eagles) Please have your team's umps show up. (Eagles, I'm lookin' at you.) Thanks!

Another Softball League In Jordan?

It's nice to see them jumping on board...

Softball begins period of growth in Middle East AMMAN—(Jordan Times)— Jordan is set to become the first Middle East home to the sport of softball [Mude says: Already been the home!] after the Executive Council of the International Softball Federation (ISF) on Sunday approved Jordan’s application to start a national softball federation, according to a statement from the Jordan Olympic Committee (JOC). The JOC, headed by HRH Prince Feisal, intends to use softball to introduce more women and youth to team sports in Jordan and provide a model for greater sporting inclusiveness throughout the Middle East. This is in line with the “Back softball for reinstatement onto the 2016 Olympic programme” blueprint which pledges to provide a sporting chance for women throughout the Middle East. Following Sierra Leone having recently been granted provisional membership status, the announcement increases the ISF’s membership up to 130 countries. “As part of our long-term strategy at the Jordan Olympic Committee, we are always looking for new ways to introduce young people to, and keep them in sport. I have been impressed with the success of softball in reaching out to young people—especially women. This addition to our portfolio of sports should see a dramatic increase in the number of young women playing team sport. This will send a powerful message to the rest of the Middle East. It is also an important statement before we host the IOC Women in Sport Conference at the Dead Sea in 2008,” Prince Feisal was quoted as saying in the statement.

Your Quest: Slay the Dragon

Which Traitors are riding the Dragon?

On Friday, August 10, the last day of the regular season, we will have an All-Star Game. Sorta.

The Traitors, the fire-breathing, undefeated wa7sh of the season, will have a new team to contend with: All-Stars selected from the other seven teams. The game will be an unofficial exhibition only, and it will not count towards the Tournament seedings in any way. But if the All-Stars can slay the dragon, it sure will be nice dining on Traitor flesh.

Selection of the All-Star team will begin this Friday, August 3. In order to be selected, you have to be good and you have to be available to play on Friday, August 10 at 3:00 PM.

Talk trash in the comments. (Commenting restrictions have been eased a bit for this purpose. I'm a humanitarian, after all.)

NOTE: I'll need a place to crash after the game, as my wife, Traitor Brooke, will not be very accommodating after her team loses.

We need to talk about where this relationship is headed

Ziggy crunches the numbers and Schwa passes on the catculations.

Ziggy and Schwa are taking a week off from prognosticating, as they did not fare so well last time (4 for 8). Their owner, your humble Slogger-in-Chief, isn't a genius, either. But I did correctly predict that the Cubs would catch the Brewers in the second half of the MLB season.*

Let's talk Tourney. This is in the Rules, but here it goes:

Tournament seeding will be based on how a team finishes in its own division, plus how they did against the other division’s “mirror” team. The two division winners “share” the top two seeds. That tie (regardless of overall records) is broken by the result of the one inter-division game between those teams, with the winner getting the higher seed. The two second-place teams share the 3-4 seeds, third place teams share 5-6, and last-place teams share 7-8.

In a nutshell: Traitors are tops. Beats are #7. Bling Bling & Stars will fight for #6 & #8. Nomads & Eagles can finish between #2 & #4. Slackers & Sluggos can finish anywhere from #3 to #5.

Details (Records indicate overall, division, inter-division):

Long Division:

Traitors (8-0, 4-0, 4-0): Clinched the Long Division title and the top seed in the tourney. Will play either Bling Bling or Stars in the first round of the Tournament.

Slackers (5-2-1, 2-1-1, 3-1) & Sluggos (4-3-1, 1-2-1, 3-1): Fighting for second place in the Long Division. Their first game against each other ended in a tie. They play again this Friday (August 3), which will basically settle matters. Slackers hold the edge over the Eagles, but not the Nomads. Sluggos hold the edge over the Nomads, but not the Eagles.

Beats (2-6, 0-4, 2-2): Cannot finish above 4th in Long. Clinched #7 seed with wins over both Bling Bling and Stars. Will play the winner of the Division of Labor in the first round.

Division of Labor:

Nomads (5-2, 3-0, 2-2) & Eagles (5-3, 3-1, 2-2): Locked in a battle for Labor title. Nomads beat the Eagles in their first game, and the second match is on August 10. Division winner is the Tourney’s #2 seed. For the #3 seed, Nomads have the edge over the Slackers, but not the Sluggos. The Eagles have the edge over the Sluggos, but not the Slackers.

Stars (1-7, 1-3, 0-4) & Bling Bling (0-7, 0-3, 0-4): Neither team can finish above 3rd in their division. One will be the #8 seed, and the other the #6 seed, because both teams lost all four inter-division games. Stars won the early game against Bling, but they meet again on Aug 10. If neither teams wins before that final game, and Bling beats the Stars, the teams will have identical records. The result of that last game will break the tie (since it's being played on the last day). This will eliminate an additional tiebreaker game.

The Tournament will be held on August 17, beginning at 9:00 AM sharp. There will be no warm-ups on the big field prior to the games and no infield warm-ups between innings. (Please use the small field.) The rest of the regular season game format will be used: 1-1 counts, 6 innings, 10-run limits per inning (except last two innings), etc. The new schedule is available here, or you may download it from the link at the bottom of the green sidebar (right side of Slogs).

THIS WEEK'S GAMES:

It'll be significantly cooler for Week 8's games, so please be sure to dress in lots of warm layers. The Slogs recommends three pairs of socks and long underwear. And ear muffs.

9:00 AM: Slackers @ Sluggos (Umps: Traitors)
10:30 AM: Traitors @ Beats (Umps: Stars)
12:00 PM: Stars @ Nomads (Umps: Beats)
1:30 PM: Bling Bling @ Nomads (Umps: Eagles)
3:00 PM: Eagles @ Bling Bling (Umps: Nomads)

*At the All-Star Break, the Cubs were 5 games behind the Brewers, but they've erased that deficit in less than three weeks and now lead the NL Central on percentage points.

SlogsCenter Epic: Nomads-Traitors

I wouldn't leave y'all hangin'--now that the offending parties have vowed to change their ways. Here's the extended version of SlogsCenter, and it's all about the Nomads and Traitors. Even if you're not a fan of either team, you should check out the clip. Lots of great defense. Congrats to the Traitors on a great win. I have a feeling they may run into the Nomads again soon. Special thanks to Melissa Manning for the terrific pics and Maher "Zambrano" Abu-Arja for crawling out of bed to shoot some video. Enjoy.

To enhance your viewing experience, let the clip load all the way before watching. You'll enjoy the soundtrack more.

Bian Pao: Week 7 Goes Boom

The blaring horns, ubiquitous fireworks and general euphoria that started early Saturday might have seemed like a natural reaction to the Traitors' big win over the Nomads on Friday, but we're not that big just yet. It had a little to do with Iraq's soccer team winning the Asia Cup by defeating Saudi Arabia in the final. (We have confirmed that the US National Soccer Team was standing by to rescue the Saudis from the Iraqis once again, but the refs wouldn't go for it.)

Anyway, Iraqi fans should not celebrate in such a loud manner unless the other team is executed after (or preferably, during) the game. Call me old-fashioned.

Bigger than either the Asia Cup or Traitors-Nomads were the Tawjihi Celebrations. For those unfamiliar with local customs here in Jordan, the Tawjihi Celebrations mark the time between when students stop cheating and plagiarizing in high school and the time they start cheating and plagiarizing in college. Typical displays of joy include:

-Applying firm pressure on the car horn until the battery dies.
-Being unreasonably optimistic about your financial future.
-Setting off fireworks (Note: indoors).
-Seeing which person can peck the other's cheek the most times before switching your sexual preference.
-Drinking shot after shot of Mafraq's tap water until you soil your pants.

Enough about Tawjihi and Soccer. Let's talk about the other games. You know, the ones which matter.

Alberto Asks the Stars to Say Hello to His Li'l Friend

Tooth + Mallet + Jack Daniel's = Play Ball.

Alberto Santiago returned to Slogway Park after his horrific injury, and he helped his Beats to an easy win over the Stars, who Karma continues to punish for not cleaning up their infant's dugout mess.

Alberto's stint on the disabled list consisted of the time it took him to walk out to his car after the incident last week, where he took a mallet and pounded that tooth back in its place. He then let out a grunt of satisfaction, guzzled some Jack Daniel's, cracked his neck, and returned to the field. Total time: three minutes. The Nomads were just lucky that the episode took place so late in the game. He wanted back in.

Sluggos Get Help, Spank Bling Bling

It took seven weeks, but The Greatest finally hit the Slogs.

Perhaps it was done in a drunken stupor, but Bling Bling had the Sluggos on the ropes before the game even started. Caught short-handed, the Sluggos requested to have another team's player fill in on their team. Bling said OK. Then they saw who the player was: the Beats' Javier "Gunny" Diaz. Bling thought twice. Yvette Martin promised to have Gunny bat only as a lefty. Bling said OK.

This decision was like agreeing to fight Muhammad Ali in his prime, but only if he promised to limit his punches to your face. The Sluggos rolled, and the Blingz cost themselves that precious first win.

Crowd in Awe at Silent Slackers. So Where's Willy?

The Slackers assess Willy's absence.

A handful of Eagles were off hobnobbing with Hollywood's elite, so the Slackers had a pretty easy win on Friday. This game had major implications for the tournament, because if the two second-place teams stay where they are in the standings, the Slackers would get the #3 seed, while the All-Blacks would have to settle for #4.

The Slackers were so well-behaved, even the Team Mom was flabbergasted. Apparently, they've identified the culprit in their temper tantrums as Walid "Willy" Abu Hassan, who was missing from the game. If that's how they really feel, then co-conspirator (and the guy who was let off the hook), Rocky Abushaar, should send him a big bouquet of flowers and a tall stack of Luigi's pizzas.

Traitors Whup Nomads, Clinch Tourney's Top Seed

There's your highlight reel.

The Traitors beat the Nomads on Friday, 15-7. After the top of the 3rd inning, the score was Nomads 6, Traitors 5. But the rest of the game was all Orange, all the time.

The win, when combined with their defeat of the Sluggos later in the day, gives the undefeated Traitors (8-0) the Long Division title and the #1 seed for the tournament. The Nomads are a half-game up on the Eagles for the lead in the Division of Labor, with the top team there taking the #2 seed.

I had planned on posting a whole mess of pics and video highlights from this game, but deleting rude messages took too much time. I will not reward those who cannot win with class, and I will not allow anyone to destroy with negativity and divisiveness what we've worked hard to build. Talk to your captain, Traitors.

End of post.

UPDATE:

From Kevin Rowlson, Captain of the Traitors:

I would like to take this time to publicly apologize to my teammates and everyone else for the comments I made. (Mude has already deleted the post.)

Sometimes I act without thinking of what the consequences will be as long as it makes me feel better at the time, and I am sorry for that. I sincerely hope that if anyone who saw the post and took any offence to it can find it in their hearts to forgive me.

SO: We'll have SlogsCenter highlights and some of Melissa Manning's excellent game pics later today some day soon. -Mude

Practice Post

Today through Thursday, August 2nd. Name, Team, Day, Time & Field. In the comments. No complications.

"The Hurt Locker" (Movie) Looking for UN Types

The Hollywood movie currently filming in Amman is looking for United Nations-type men for roles as extras. Filming is this Monday. You'll be wearing a suit and looking all official. They're looking for men in their 30's and up. If you look anything like Gary Bonifas, you're so in. (But other, less pretty people are welcome, too.) You can email your pic to Lara Atalla at lara.atalla@gmail.com (or call her at 0777.555.007). Please do so ASAP, because, again, filming for this scene is this Monday, July 30. And the team is still in need of extras, both male and female, to play various speaking and non-speaking (both paid) "extras" roles. Western-looking, 18-45, soldierin' people. Get in touch with Lara today. You won't regret it. (Note: The Amman leg of filming for this movie will run through September 12, 2007.)

The Biggest Game of the Year...So Far

BREAKING NEWS:

Alberto Santiago will be back tomorrow...playing!

Ziggy and Schwa grew close over the past week.

It’s late, I know. I was out of town. Also, Ziggy and Schwa were upset about it, and it’s hard to write one of these previews without creatures who actually know the game. Also, I’m lazy.

It's going to be the hottest gameday of the season. If you're reading this, thank you for dropping in and being a loyal Slogger. Your reward is this urgent plea to hydrate all day long. If you're not reading this, then you won't know that I don't care if you drink water or not. Here's what the kittens have to say about Week 7 at Slogway Park...

Nomads (5-1) @ Traitors (6-0)
Time: 9:00 AM
Temp: 90°F/32°C
Wind: From NW, 7 MPH/11 KM
Umps: Mude & Yvette

Ziggy and Schwa agree: The Traitors’ depleted lineup and age will finally catch up to them. (Remember, these are the cats' words, not mine. But I happen to agree.) The only question in the minds of the Vegas Felines is whether or not Shukri can hit one out, despite winds which will be blowing straight in from center. First the Nomads will rattle the Traitors, then they’ll beat them. Nomads by 6 runs.

Traitors (6-0) @ Sluggos (3-2-1)
Time: 10:30 AM
Temp: 94°F/34°C
Wind: From NW shifting to from WNW, 7 MPH/11 KM
Umps: Mude & Maher

Ziggy: This will be a letdown game for the Traitors—and some revenge for the Sluggos. The Traitors have spent all week firing shots at the Nomads, forgetting all about the Sluggos. That is some serious disrespect. Ali Lejlic and Chris Hattayer are back for the Sluggos, and the Traitors will learn a lesson. Despondent over their loss to the Nomads and still seemingly unaware they're playing a double-header, the Gatorades will let one slip away...and they'll pretend not to care.

Schwa: Even though she left me alone in this house with the Evil White Cat for five days, I’m going with Mrs. Mude’s team. The Traitors will find a way to overcome the injuries and missing players to pull off the win, but it'll be a wake-up call for them.

Bling Bling (0-6) @ Sluggos (3-2-1)
Time: Noon
Temp: 97°F/36°C
Wind: From WNW, 9 MPH/14 KM
Umps: Beats

Ziggy: I can’t pick the Sluggos to beat the Traitors and not Bling Bling. Captain Yvette Martin and crew have been working 'round the clock to reload, and it’ll pay off against the Shinies.

Schwa: Dumb Ziggy. Blingbeefers are so due. It’s the upset of the season, and I’m calling it: Bling Bling gets in the win column this week. Cap'n Neal is back, they've finally got another chick, er, woman, and just about every player on the team has improved over the course of the season. [Note: The boycat's chauvinism is not endorsed by the Slogs, but it is enjoyed.]

Stars (1-6) @ Beats (1-6)
Time: 1:30 PM
Temp: 100°F/38°C
Wind: From WNW shifting to from W, 11 MPH/17 KM
Umps: Eagles

Ziggy and Schwa love paisans: Greg Ambrosio, the Beats’ winter co-capo, made some threatening remarks to the guy who feeds us beef snacks. But it turns out they’re cousins. The Beats will turn it around and will win two out of their final three games.

Eagles (5-2) @ Slackers (4-2-1)
Time: 3:00 PM
Temp: 102°F/39°C
Wind: From W, 12 MPH/19 KM
Umps: Nomads

Ziggy and Schwa have exercised their right to withhold comment due to a possible conflict of interest.

Now you can plan your day. (Hooray, meteorology!)

Traitor Nation Is Born, Quickly Rejected By Own Mother

Dennis Merdian has an ouchie. That ball is evil...and hungry.

In Jeff Coupe's last game as a Traitor, he helped his team beat the Stars and fathered "Traitor Nation." No word on who the mother is, though, as she apparently wants nothing to do with the whole ordeal. Here's Jeff and his daughter Hannah, setting things straight and saying goodbye...



Dennis Merdian, pitcher for the Stars, took a bullet off his shin, courtesy of Justin "Get Some" Hiester. Dennis is a tough man, and he wouldn't give any Traitor the satisfaction of seeing him hurt. He stayed in the game and played well. (But I have the feeling his wife had to hear a lot of whining later that night.) To his credit, Justin felt awful about the whole thing and offered to pay all of Dennis' tuition fees for grad school.

The bruise on Dennis' shin had barely turned purple before Kevin and Brooke began trading small arms fire with Omar Massarweh of the Nomads, with whom they have a breakfast date next Friday to determine which of the two teams truly rules the regular season. Ziggy and Schwa will be all over that preview. In the meantime, have at each other right here.

Nomads Top Beats, Eye Traitors

Some good news for the Beats: They get the honor of having the SlogsCenter Highlight of the Week. Here's Nomad Shukri Saleh, getting oopsed up between 3rd and home...

The rest of the game was brutal, and I'm not just talking about the score. The Nomads topped the Beats to set up a showdown for league supremacy against the undefeated Traitors next Friday, but the real story was the injury suffered by the Beats' Alberto Santiago.

On a single to right field, Alberto had just passed first base when the laser of a throw came in. Alberto wasn't aware of the throw, which was rather unusual for an outfield single, and it met his mouth. The sound of the impact was sickening, and the scene afterward was a bloody mess.

Freeze, re-use, enjoy? I don't think so: Alberto's recovered tooth.

The good news is that our crack archaeologists found the tooth in the sand and Alberto had it put right back in (Note: Not at the field). A few stitches in his lip, and he'll be back on the field in no time, donning his Yankees cap and giving his opponents hell. And in his honor, the Beats put up an impressive six runs in the final inning.

The right-fielder who threw the ball, known here only as Li'l Massarweh, had his name sent by the US Embassy to Homeland Security. He is now atop the Most Wanted Terrorists list. Good luck getting back to school in the States.

Be careful out there, Sloggers. It's a mad. mad world.

Blame It on the Falafel: Eagles Sweep Double-Header

Ben Roberson fled Jordan after his Falafel Coup succeeded.

Take some chickpeas, herbs and spices. Ball 'em up. Deep fry. Consume.

Then suffer the consequences.

That's what happened to several Stars and all of the Sluggos on Friday, July 20th. The two teams were scheduled to play against the Eagles in the All-Blacks' double-header, but the copious amounts of falafel which the missing players scarfed down the night before gave the hosts an easy sweep. The wins put the Eagles just a half-game behind the Division of Labor leaders, the Nomads, with three weeks to go in the regular season.

Reports are sketchy at this stage, but we have confirmed that one overzealous Sluggo went outside in the early morning hours to "air himself out," only to blast off to Uganda. Surviving him are six distraught teammates and one ringing cell phone.

Furthermore, our sources inside the Amman Stock Exchange reveal to us that one Eagle, Ben Roberson, is the silent (but deadly) majority owner of Abu Jbara Restaurants. It is no coincidence, therefore, that Eagles captain Tom Manning announced Ben's abrupt departure from Jordan. We like Ben's tactics, and we like his hair, so we'll just wish him good luck in his new life on the run.

BlingNation Scares the Shout Out of Slackers

Bling Bling showed glimpses of their potential against the Slackers.

The women of Bling Bling are a mysterious bunch. As best as we can tell, there are four of them, but only one has bothered to show up every week, and that's Susanna Sawalha.

The inability to play with 10 fielders--and that automatic out for missing a woman--probably cost Bling Bling a win last week against the Beats, and it certainly was a factor in their Week 6 matchup against the Slackers, at least early on.

Bling came out swinging in the first inning and bloodied some Slacker lip with five runs, actually holding a lead through two innings. The stellar play of Blingtosser Saif Barhoum and some lively bats put a real scare into Bargo's Screamin' Burtuqalis.

The Orange never really got into a rhythm until the final inning, when they put the game out of reach with 11 runs. Bling could have used some help from those missing players, especially the women, one of whom had the excuse of a dead car, while another was apparently still drinking from the night before. The third was helping her neighbors make kubbeh.

And through all these tough times, where is the Blingcaptain, Neal Zureikat? We have it on good authority that he's in Orlando, waiting on his custom-fit Mickey Mouse hat to arrive.

Your Looks Got You Far: Now Be In A (Real) Movie

Time's running out for you to be in a real movie, not just these silly little SlogsCenter highlights. Here's the announcement: The company behind the movie The Hurt Locker is seeking interested men and women, ages 18-45, to play soldiers of different armies (U.S., Poland, Australia, etc.) and diplomats in a positive film that attempts to humanize all sides of the situation in Iraq. Filming is taking place right here in Amman. Casting is for paid speaking and paid non-speaking extras to work at various dates between July 22 - Sept 12, in scenes with Hollywood actors and under the direction of Kathryn Bigelow, director of Point Break, Strange Days, K-19, and other films. For more information, please email Lara Atalla at lara.atalla@gmail.com, or call 0777.555.007. [Please note the corrected email address.]

Rehearse First, Perform Better: Practice Slots Here

If you wish to improve your performance on the field, try diggin' on some practice. In the comments section of this post, please leave us with: Your name Your team The day you want to practice The time you want to practice The field you want (small/upper or large/lower) This post is good for Saturday 21/7 through Thursday 26/7 only. Please (please?) don't leave an anonymous comment. Ziggy may have been declawed, but Schwa will tear your heart out. And eat it. If you want to leave a cute message to show everyone how clever you can be when you're stoned, do it in a different post. (Note: If you are not a "boggler," find someone who doesn't think the interweb is the Devil to assist you.)

Easy Money: Vegas Fe-Lines Love Week Six

Ziggy and Schwa take a nap after making their picks.

Slackers at Bling Bling
Time: 9:00 AM
Temp: 80°F/27°C
Wind: From WSW, 7 mph/11 km
Umps: Nomads

Ziggy: I'd love to see Blingity get on the plus side, but I'm betting against them.
Schwa: Where's my &^$%!&# beef, you @#^*!@* Slackers? (Maher needs a chick!)

Beats at Nomads
Time: 10:30 AM
Temp: 84°F/29°C
Wind: From WSW, 9 mph/14 km
Umps: Slackers

Ziggy: I have a good feeling about the Beats, now that they've tasted victory.
Schwa: I had that feeling, too. But it's buried in litter now. Never go against the 'Mads.

Sluggos at Eagles
Time: Noon
Temp: 87°F/31°C
Wind: From WSW, 10 mph/16 km
Umps: Stars

Ziggy: If the Sluggos can field a team, they'll win. Early money is on the Eagles.
Schwa: Win it for Orrince!

Stars at Eagles
Time: 1:30 PM
Temp: 89°F/32°C
Wind: From WSW, 12 mph/19 km
Umps: Traitors

Ziggy: The Stars Vandals will not avenge that humiliating defeat from Week 3.
Schwa: They would have to launch a thousand crusades to get any satisfaction after that.

Traitors at Stars
Time: 3:00 PM
Temp: 90°F/32°C
Wind: From W, 13 mph/21 km
Umps: Eagles

Ziggy: Should we execute that 7afartali who vandalized the dugout, or just torture him?
Schwa: Both. And let's eat his gizzard, too.

You should listen to the winds.

Stars Bring The Filth, Lose to Sluggos

The Stars lost to the Sluggos last Friday. It was Orrince's last game, and it was another blowout. There's your recap. Now on to more interesting developments.

That's nice. We're all very proud of you.

That one would lay a false claim to the monarchy in this country is a discussion for some other time. Let's stick to the act itself:

Vandalizing Amman Little League Association's complex is downright disgusting. You live in this country. Please don't bring more filth into it. ALLA offers sports for kids (and now adults) at very reasonable prices. Please don't bring your filth into its grounds. Khaled, the ALLA guard, does not get paid to clean up after you. Please don't bring your filth to him.

I have a recommendation: Get that cleaned up and looking like it was never there.

For the rest of the recaps from Friday the 13th's games, clickity here.

Slackers Yell, Nomads Swell: Jordan Cup Wears Red

The Nomads won the Inaugural Jordan Cup after beating the Slackers.

Here’s the way this game went: Shukri Saleh kept driving in Omar Massarweh, the Barghoutis kept pace for the Slackers, H.R.H. Princess Iman al-Hussein’s Nomadic speed impressed the infielders, and the Orange’s improved outfield wowed everyone. And it was tied 6-6 after four innings.

While the Slackers yelled, they were outscored 8-0.

But then the Slackers started to vocally plot each other’s murders, and the Nomads jumped on the chance and scored eight unanswered runs to take a 14-6 lead. When the Slackers finally stopped yelling at one another, they managed to score five runs in the bottom of the sixth, but it was too little, too late. The First Annual Jordan Cup goes to the Nomads after their 14-11 win.

It’s still unclear whether the ‘Mads rise to the occasion or play down to their competition. Their showdown with the Traitors on the 27th and the rematch against the Eagles during the final week will answer all the questions. As for the Slackers, never have so many been in so great of a need for so much Valium.

Beats Snag A Win, End Hunger Strike

The Beats can finally be called winners. Not that we were calling them losers or anything. It's just been tough to watch, that's all. But they did lose on Friday. (I'm just sayin'.) In the first game of a double-header, the Slackers got out some frustration from the Jordan Cup game and feasted on some Beats Meat. In the second game, against a quickly improving Bling Bling team, the Beats did just enough to win. Of course, they were helped by the automatic out Blingball had to take every time their missing female's turn came up in the batting order, but a win is a win. The tying runner should have been up to bat with two outs in the top of the 6th inning, but that auto-out ended the game right there. When it was pointed out to Blingcap Jawad Dabbas that his team may have won the game had they fielded the required two women, his response was classic: "That's the story of my life. I always need just one more woman." The good news for Beats captain Marikay Satryano is that her team finally let her have a meal. Here she is, breaking her fast...

The Traitors: Lonely At The Top

"I'm smart! Not like everybody says, like dumb. I'm smart and I want respect!" -Fredo Corelone, The Godfather: Part II "...or I'll tear his arms off." -Jeff Coupe, Traitors Shortstop, July 13, 2007 The Traitors rose up to a major challenge and established themselves as the team to beat this season. Schwa the Boycat predicted a tight, low-scoring game with lots of fly balls becoming martyrs in the stiff breeze. He was correct. Justin Hiester, Jeff Coupe and Ash Samawi each scored twice for the Gatorades, and Brooke Sartawi chipped in another. On the Eagles side, Tom Manning and Andrea Brusseau crossed the plate in the 7-2 Traitors win. Here are a couple of highlights, including a hello to New Zealand from the Eagles' Matthew Perry...and a worm-burnin' round trip by the Traitors' Justin Hiester. BREAKING NEWS: You can tell which Traitors are new to winning by looking in the comments section of this post. Some just are not satisfied with having a stacked team and simply being undefeated. They want everyone to worship them, too. Why not? There will be a Traitors Worship Service held at 8:30 AM every Friday, as long as they are on top. After entering the clubhouse, take the hallway on your right, then enter through the second door on your right. (You can "drop off" your donation there at any time.)

Fresh, Hot Practice

Reserve your practice times for July 14-19 right here. Leave your name, team, day, time and field in the comments section of this post. If the slot you want is already taken, please don't take it. (A slot is only taken if it's mentioned here, in the comments.)

Inter-Division Play Heats Up With Vegas (Fe)Lines

Ziggy (bottom, girl) and Schwa (boy) disagree a lot this week.

Culture Appreciation Game: Stars at Sluggos

Time: 9:00 AM
Temp: 76/24
Wind: 10/16
Umps: Mude & Kevin

Schwa’s Pick: Nobody appreciates Arab culture like the Sluggos.
Ziggy’s Pick: …but Abu Mitchell works in Zarqa! Stars win.

Battle for Jordan: Nomads at Slackers

Time: 10:30 AM
Temp: 79/26
Wind: 12/19
Umps: Sluggos

Schwa’s Pick: On Orange! On Slackers! Now give me some beef.
Ziggy’s Pick: Mmm..Swarthy Nomadic men in shorts. Win it for Jordan!

One More Miracle, and We’ll Qualify For Sainthood: Slackers at Beats

Time: Noon
Temp: 83/28
Wind: 12/19
Umps: Nomads

Schwa’s Pick: I won’t pick the Slackers again until I get my beef!
Ziggy’s Pick: No Miracles, but lots of sand. Advantage Slackers.

Someone Has To Win: Bling Bling at Beats

Time: 1:30 PM
Temp: 86/30
Wind: 14/22 (Note: Always from the West, left field to right field.)
Umps: Traitors

Schwa’s Pick: Did you say Beefs? Oh, no? Beats? OK then, Beats.
Ziggy’s Pick: A tie is out of the question. Beats will romp.

Game of the Week: Eagles at Traitors

Time: 3:00 PM
Temp: 87/31
Wind: 15/24
Umps: Beats

Schwa’s Pick: With those strong winds blowing in from left to right, both teams will see their power negated. This game will come down to which team’s outfielders can best judge fly balls. The Eagles have young legs patrolling their outfield, but the Traitors lawnkeepers are the best in the league. Traitors will win a close, low-scoring game.

Ziggy’s Pick: When did that purring hairball get so smart? I agree with the squeaky little boycat about the importance of outfield defense, but I think the Eagles’ speed and their ability to hit to all fields will translate to victory for the Blackshirts. It will be a close, hard-fought game, and I predict a lot of whining.

Trivia Time: How Does A Lawyer Bill This?

Warning: If you're easily offended by violence, politics or religion, then please go fix yourself a snack while the rest of us enjoy ourselves. I got the following clip from Uncle Chris, who got it from a personal injury attorney in Colorado. I won't mention the lawyer's name, because I don't want him to sue me--or worse, bite me while I'm snorkeling. Watch the clip and get the trivia question at the bottom. When all was said and done, the driver felt he did not receive what was promised to him, so he hired the aforementioned Colorado attorney to sue God. My question to you: Should he win the lawsuit, what will be the lawyer's fee for the case? Hint: His fee is based upon a 1/3 contigency fee structure. Answer in the comments section of this post, please. One answer per person. Relatives of the Slogger-in-Chief and those sleeping with him are finally eligible.

My Wife Beans Me (And Bling Crushes The Traitors)

Last Friday, some of the Polyphonic Blingtones joined half the Nomads and Slackers to watch Tessio beg to be let off the hook. (You know, for old times’ sake.) The Gatoradin’ Traitors were in town, so a game had to be played. Orrince, YAM, Kristin, Gunny and I jumped over to BlingNation. The battle was afoot.

I’ll spare you the suspense. Bling Bling won this game. Were it not for the small technicality of Bling’s forfeit, you would all see a big fat “1” in the Traitors’ loss column. It was a blowout. We stopped keeping score after it was 27-0 in the 3rd inning.

Kinzi over at "my treasure" is digging up ideas on “how playing sports together can enhance your marriage.” She was kind enough to link to the thrilling, back-to-back Taweel homers, but I’m here today to speak the truth—not some four bag fantasy.

My wife plays for the Traitors, and she was patrolling second base during this game. I hit a grounder and Brooke tried to turn two. She threw one of her laser throws that went wide and hit me in the leg…five feet after I was safe at first. It left a nasty bruise. How’s that for an enhanced marriage?

Perhaps Brooke did this in retaliation for an incident that occurred during the previous inning. She hit what looked to be a single to left, but being a Traitor, she tried to take the extra base against a weaker opponent. Manning first base in my manly manner, I stopped her. She put up a fight. I carried her back to first. (Told ya I'm manly.)

You see, Brooke’s family has entrusted me with her safety. Second base is dangerous. It’s out there in the middle of nothing, all square and white and dusty. I did not want my wife to fall victim to some nefarious plot. So I saved her and brought her back to the taupe-level security of first base. See what a good guy I am?

Not only did I get rewarded for my heroic deed with a beaning, but one of Brooke’s teammates later added insult to my injury. Traitor Dwaine Childs mustered all his strength and rolled a soft grounder to YAM at third, who made a perfect throw. Knowing he was meat at first, Dwaine, channeling A-Rod, actually slapped the ball out of my hand, earning the nickname Slappy McDwaineRod. Of course, Brooke thought it was funny.

So what do I do to enhance my marriage now, people? Drawing on my threat to exercise my right to simultaneously keep four wives, Brooke came up with an idea for a bumper sticker. The words are hers, and the design is mine. If sports don’t bring you closer, try making fun of each other. It works for us.

Inter-Division Games That Were Played

Leave Your Little James Alone: It's Tessio Time!

There's only one Tessio.

Tessio from The Godfather (or maybe some other guy) grabbed all his CDs and went to Petra last weekend. He played other people's music through some speakers and a whole mess of Arabs and foreigners paid to listen. From what I hear, everyone was on in ecstasy the whole time.

Which brings us to the Nomads and Sluggos. Some Nomads decided to hang out with Abe Vigoda, while the Sluggos showed up to play softball. Sluggos won, and it wasn’t close.

Orrince and Omar Massarweh got into a heated discussion about the game, and their comments had to be deleted. The Slogs do not tolerate talk of each other’s naughty parts, especially between two men.

Stars Picked Off, Not Ticked Off

Tuck that shirt in Abu Mitchell -- the Ump's watchin'!

With my reputation as the Rules Enforcer, the highlight of the Slackers-Stars game was the Stars runner at first being "tagged out" during a courtesy runner switch. The ump hadn't quite called time yet. And the out was actually upheld. Man, that's harsh...and unprecedented. Was Karma watching?

The Slackers are now undefeated in their sexy new uniforms (and beautiful matching hats). The Traitors' Kevin is jealous. He was overheard asking the Slackers where they got those hats. This might get ugly.

For the Stars, they continue to have fun, and they must be looking forward to the re-match against Bling Bling on August 10. But at least the Taweels, Reem and Saed, can claim the SlogsCenter Highlight of the Week for the Twinklers.

Beats Close, but No Argilah

One of the Beats left his glasses behind...in disgust?

Down two runs, with two men boys on and no outs, in the bottom of the 6th inning, the Eagles' Gary Bonifas came through with...what should have been an out. But his high fly to shallow right turned into a single, then a double, then a triple...and finally, a walk-off four-bagger. So Karma was watching, after all.

Such is life in the Beats camp these days. They had battled the Eagles valiantly for what should have been their first win of the year. But it wasn't meant to be.

Here's some advice from your Uncle Mude: Do not mess with the Beats. Most of them have diplomatic immunity. That means they can kill you and, like, totally get away with it. Someone please let them win so we can all live in peace.

Green Monsters' 'Princess' Is A Mama

After 11 1/2 hours of labor and some three weeks before the due date, former (and future?) Green Monster Jennifer AuCoin and her husband Steve LaBelle welcomed their first child, Simon Micheal LaBelle, into the world. He was born at 4:05 PM on July 7, 2007. (Yup, a 777 kid.)


Simon is healthy and so is Jennifer. But I'm worried about Steve. Congratulations to the Corner Beauty and her family from everyone at Amman Softball League!

Peace Corps & JICA Get It On

While you were soaking your aching muscles in hot water last Friday, a softball game broke out at Slogway Park. The fine people of JICA (Japan International Cooperation Agency) and the Peace Corps got together for an exhibition game.

Even though it was only an exhibition, both teams had some fine ball players on the field. Word is, a few Amman Softball League teams are actively recruiting them.

A Peace Corps guy in a Red Sox shirt and an entire team from the country that brought us Daisuke Matsuzaka and Hideki Okajima. Fantastic.

Nevermind the score. Check out some clips...


Evan Usler of the Peace Corps summons the power of the Red Sox for a Grand Slam.


JICA players cheer on their teammates.


JICA's Akinori Okada dances to the beat.

SlogsCenter: Reem & Saed Taweel Homer for the Stars

Reem Amireh-Taweel and Saed Taweel, her husband, went yard (sorta) in back-to-back at-bats in the bottom of the 2nd inning. Their victims were the Slackers. Yes, this is the second straight week that the Slackers have been on the wrong end of the Highlight of the Week. How do they keep doing it? Teamwork, baby. But hey, the Orange won the game, and that's all we care about.

All the SlogsCenter Highlights shall be gathered HERE

Coming to The Slogs on Sunday, July 8

Practice? We talkin' 'bout practice?

***UPDATE, July 12 @ 3:30 PM: Reservations here are closed. Check back on the HOME PAGE early Saturday morning (July 14) to reserve your team's practice day & time for July 14-19. Each week will have a new practice post. Let's open up practice slots for the next week. Both fields are available every day, Saturday through Thursday, and at any time. To reserve your spot, leave it in the comments of this post. First to comment, first served. One day per customer, please. Please ID yourself & your team, as well as which field you want, on which day, and for what time slot. We'll have one of these up by every Friday going forward. This way, you don't have to hunt me down or wait for an email response. Just drop in and see what's available.

***

The standings have been updated through July 6th's games. (Look to the right, in the green bar, below the Video Highlight of the Week. See?)

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Over the next day or two, we'll have a lot to cover from Friday: Our first week of inter-divisional play; lots of video highlights; Ziggy & Schwa's picks... And The Peace Corps Softball War of 2007: Japan vs USA

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Stay tuned. (Actually, don't stay tuned. Go away & come back later.)

Sleeping Stars shaken, not stirred

Abu Mitchell Al-Zarqawi’s cell was still sleeping at 9:00 AM last Friday. They probably didn’t have much of a chance anyway, as 007 himself was keeping an eye on the Stars’ captain and shortstop.

John Manning, your new 007, spies Pat Hillman.

The dapper spy employed Q’s latest gadgetry to foil his foes:

* A diabolical device that stealthily moves first base progressively farther from home plate as a Stars runner approaches.

* A leather-attracting magnetic-type thingy which draws the ball to the Eagles bats, then quickly repels it on contact, resulting in muchos hittos. (How do you say “hits” in Spanish?) Screw it, darbat iktar.

* White-hot dust made from nuclear waste that’s placed inside the hitters’ shoes, forcing the Eagles to take extra bases, even in the last inning of a blowout.

When confronted about his team’s use of technology to vanquish their rivals—and to explain what became of his pledge to start nine newborn babies against the Stars—Eagles’ captain Tom Manning shot back with a look of disbelief on his face:

“You would actually have me put white-hot nuclear waste inside a baby’s booties? What kind of a man are you?”

Abu Mitchell was last seen walking off the field, somehow still smiling. This may explain how he’s able to recruit so many people to his cause. The man oozes charisma and positivity, even when he’s grumbling about the infidels.

Ain't nothin' gonna get us down: The Stars always shine.

Will the Eagles continue on their roll, or are paybacks in their future?