We're Back

"Get it on. Gotta get it on. No choice but to get it on." - Adam Carolla Like a disease in remission, we've come back with rage, killing that false sense of security you felt as you lollygagged away the last ten months of Fridays. The Summer 2009 season of Amman Softball League, our 7th overall, is most definitely on. What does this mean for you? Pain, that's what. You're about to get smacked with balls that have the best size and hardness combo this side of bowling. If you like getting smacked with balls, then you've come to the right place. Welcome. We are also rolling out the same stained red carpet to all those who enjoy smacking balls. See how fairness runs in our blood? We've got Smackers and Slackers and Spitters and Trojans... Botox and JoSox and Nomads and Mo' Nads than any camel-humpin' league in the Middle East. We are here to get some and, dammit, some will be gotten. That felt good. By the way, the Slogs are now Adult Swim. This place is as full of inside jokes as it is full of fun and informative (don't forget well written!) stuff about the league. Read up on ASL, feel free to comment, and get in on the inside jokes. The only rule for Adult Swim: Don't pee in my pool. The deal for this Friday, June 12th: 9:00 AM*: AF11 @ Trojans (Slackers umping) 10:45 AM: Slackers @ JoSox (Trojans umping) 12:30 PM: Noobz @ Nomads (JoSox umping) *That's right, Nine Ay Em. Get over it...or just stay awake from the night before. RULES CHANGES: 1. No more surgical strike. It was dumb. 2. Games are now 7 innings. 3. Infielders positioned behind the basepaths for all batters. 4. Designated Hitter option added. 5. Miss an umping assignment, your team loses a full inning of at-bats. 6. Bring booze into the park, you're ejected & suspended. 7. READ THE RULES! (Note: This is not a rule change.) Maybe I'll have more on the league on Thursday. Maybe I'll decide to do something else instead. Like count the number of hypocrites who pretend to be religious but have no problem waking up entire neighborhoods with their horn-honking, wife-beating and escaped-from-the-zoo children. Softball was a venting mechanism, for all of us. You getting that yet? One word for all the waiters in Jordan: DEODORANT. Two words for getting Jordan out of debt: TRAFFIC PARKING TICKETS. Three words for Le Freak: NEED A LIGHT? Four words for Jeff's uncle: YOUR NEPHEW LIKES BOYS. Five words for all you newcomers: WELCOME TO AMMAN SOFTBALL LEAGUE.