Thursday, August 14, 2008

It's On

Important Announcement From Ziggy & Schwa: The Tourney ends with the Championship Game (2:15 PM) this Friday, August 15. But the All-Star Game will be played the following day at 11:00 AM. We’re contacting players and captains today & tomorrow, but you have to be patient with us. Dialing a phone is kinda hard for us, because we’re cats and have no thumbs. In the meantime, please enjoy our cartoons making fun of Mude, and read the XL edition of the Summer 2008 Tournament Preview.

Ziggy & Schwa, Mude 8/14/2008

But seriously. Read the rules. This is neither the majors nor little league. Pitching, baserunning, substitutions and interference calls are all considerably different, and there are many incorrect assumptions about all of them. Don't get burned. If you know the rules by which we play, you'll have an edge in the Tournament. Here's some more epic posting...

ASL Summer 2008 Tournament Preview PLAY-IN GAME #5 Bezzig & Lezzig (0-8) @ #4 Trojans (3-5) Time: 9:15 AM Conditions: 76 F, WSW 8 MPH Umpires: 1 Slacker + 2 Nomads Kevin’s Take: B&L: This team just doesn't seem to put it all together for the whole game. I have seen them play just a couple times, and they seem to do ok for 2-3 innings and then the flood gates open. Keys to success: Cut down the errors, pitchers need to throw strikes, and of course scoring a lot of runs wouldn't hurt. Trojans: Probably the most dangerous team in the tournament. Everyone expects the JoSox, Slackers, and Nomads to be there but the Men in Black may surprise a few people. Keys to success: Pitching, fielding, and not letting other teams take extra bases on throws all over the field. Massarweh’s Take: B&L: Can't field. Can't hit. But love to play the game. I envy them. Trojans: Take out Aaron Bouchane, Saif Barhoum and Jeff Sillin’s bats, and the Trojans got nothing. Laith Barhoum does make a play, though, every once in a while. Their selectivity on swinging at pitches like women will get them nowhere. Ziggy Says: Massarweh is a chauvinist goat. He compares the Trojans’ selective swinging to feminine behavior, as if women can’t play, but his own team would be no better than 2-6 without their women. And he forgets about Ben Barrows, Tarek Jallad, Laura Alsenas and Mohamed Zalatimo (who is only one of the best pitchers in the league). Prediction: Bezzig will have a great party, regardless of the result. Schwa Says: With a full roster, the Trojans will make noise in this Tourney. The key to the Trojans going far in the playoffs will be their outfield defense and shortstop play, in addition to selecting the right batting order. Prediction: Trojans march on. SEMIS 1 #3 Nomads (5-3) @ #2 Slackers (6-2) Time: 10:45 AM Conditions: 81 F, WSW 9 MPH Umpires: 1 JoSox + 1 Bezzig + 1 Trojan Kevin’s Take: Nomads are the most trash-talking squad in the tournament, and they can never back it. I am sure they will come in brash and cocky after thrashing the JoSox 3 weeks ago but what's done is done. Keys to success: Hitting. Missing two of the better hitters in their lineup, the rest will have to produce. If not, fire up the grill. Slackers, as always, are strictly offensive. Defense is just a place to stand until it's their turn to bat. They were missing a couple of their best hitters in the tiebreaker game, one of which is their top outfielder, Nader Qushair. With Willy gone for the Tourney, it might be a silent Slacker team--unless Rocky Abushaar rejoins the team. Massarweh’s Take: Nomads truly are the most trash-talking team in the Tournament who can’t back it up. More than often than not, they fail to keep a huge lead, and break down in one inning and can’t bounce back. Their players try to do things they simply cannot do. Keys to success: Focus, hit and be mentally tough day in, day out. The skill is there. The mental power to get it done is lacking. Slackers are an offensive superpower, but a defensive dwarf. All you need to do to beat this team is to hit it hard and on the ground. The rest will happen easily. Schwa Says: Don’t you love it when people spout off without having all the facts? Kevin & Massarweh both ripped on the Orange D, but the Slackers were the second-best defensive team in the league this season. They allowed fewer runs per game than the Nomads, and only 5 more all season than the JoSox. On offense, they also finished 2nd to the JoSox, but ahead of the Nomads. Slackers get some key players back, including Nader, Rocky and Yazan Barghouti. The Orange will triumph in this game, and it’s not going to be as close as some may think (or hope) it would be. Ziggy Says: The Slackers are an absolute force. Like my Pops, Mude, has said before, the Orange Way is to keep it in the family and throw everything they have at their opponents. Their ability to score is obvious and their defense is underrated. That sounds like a dangerous combo to me. And the two missing Nomads make it a tough climb for the Sandwalkers. Prediction: Slackers win. SEMIS 2 Winner of #5/#4 @ #1 JoSox (6-2) Time: 12:15 PM Conditions: 84 F, WSW 10 MPH Umpires: 1 From Loser of #3/#2 + 2 From Loser of #5/#4 Kevin’s Take: JoSox: This team doesn't rebuild; it reloads. They seem to have shored up the defensive issues from earlier in the season, and the hitting appears to be peaking. By far the best OF and SS in the league, hands down. Keys to success: Focus. Massarweh’s Take: Most organized and focused team in the Tournament, but by far the most BORING team with no motivation whatsoever (except Kevin). When they reload, they reload, but somehow they manage to reload with players nobody wants. There is no continuity from season to season, which, in my opinion, is the reason behind their lethargic game face. Best SS? I have never seen him play, so I cannot answer. We all know who the best SS in this league is, don’t we, Nomads? (Mude: Why not have a vote, like you did with the Leach [sic]? That would be much more entertaining than Kevin’s hezz danab.) Schwa Says: I’m the Boycat, and I also have a mancrush on Doug “Hoover” Van Zandt. He has been playing shortstop in ASL for four-plus seasons, yet Omar Massarweh claims to have never seen him play. Maybe if CHOKEmar MassERRORweh stepped back from his full-length mirror once in a while, he’d actually catch a glimpse of the other players in this league. Ziggy Says: Easy on Omar, little Schwa. The man’s about to get engaged! About the game: If the JoSox take this game seriously, they’ll march on to the championship game, where the Slackers will be waiting for them. If they goof off and give away outs on defense and on the basepaths, then we’re in for the biggest shocker in our history—bigger than when the Trojans crushed the Nomads last Tourney. Prediction: JoSox remain focused, win the game and bring me meat-filled treats. CHAMPIONSHIP GAME Time: 2:15 PM Conditions: 89 F, WSW-W 10 MPH Umpires: 1 from each of the 3 eliminated teams Preview/Prediction: God only knows, right?

***