Traitor Nation Is Born, Quickly Rejected By Own Mother

Dennis Merdian has an ouchie. That ball is evil...and hungry.

In Jeff Coupe's last game as a Traitor, he helped his team beat the Stars and fathered "Traitor Nation." No word on who the mother is, though, as she apparently wants nothing to do with the whole ordeal. Here's Jeff and his daughter Hannah, setting things straight and saying goodbye...



Dennis Merdian, pitcher for the Stars, took a bullet off his shin, courtesy of Justin "Get Some" Hiester. Dennis is a tough man, and he wouldn't give any Traitor the satisfaction of seeing him hurt. He stayed in the game and played well. (But I have the feeling his wife had to hear a lot of whining later that night.) To his credit, Justin felt awful about the whole thing and offered to pay all of Dennis' tuition fees for grad school.

The bruise on Dennis' shin had barely turned purple before Kevin and Brooke began trading small arms fire with Omar Massarweh of the Nomads, with whom they have a breakfast date next Friday to determine which of the two teams truly rules the regular season. Ziggy and Schwa will be all over that preview. In the meantime, have at each other right here.

Nomads Top Beats, Eye Traitors

Some good news for the Beats: They get the honor of having the SlogsCenter Highlight of the Week. Here's Nomad Shukri Saleh, getting oopsed up between 3rd and home...

The rest of the game was brutal, and I'm not just talking about the score. The Nomads topped the Beats to set up a showdown for league supremacy against the undefeated Traitors next Friday, but the real story was the injury suffered by the Beats' Alberto Santiago.

On a single to right field, Alberto had just passed first base when the laser of a throw came in. Alberto wasn't aware of the throw, which was rather unusual for an outfield single, and it met his mouth. The sound of the impact was sickening, and the scene afterward was a bloody mess.

Freeze, re-use, enjoy? I don't think so: Alberto's recovered tooth.

The good news is that our crack archaeologists found the tooth in the sand and Alberto had it put right back in (Note: Not at the field). A few stitches in his lip, and he'll be back on the field in no time, donning his Yankees cap and giving his opponents hell. And in his honor, the Beats put up an impressive six runs in the final inning.

The right-fielder who threw the ball, known here only as Li'l Massarweh, had his name sent by the US Embassy to Homeland Security. He is now atop the Most Wanted Terrorists list. Good luck getting back to school in the States.

Be careful out there, Sloggers. It's a mad. mad world.

Blame It on the Falafel: Eagles Sweep Double-Header

Ben Roberson fled Jordan after his Falafel Coup succeeded.

Take some chickpeas, herbs and spices. Ball 'em up. Deep fry. Consume.

Then suffer the consequences.

That's what happened to several Stars and all of the Sluggos on Friday, July 20th. The two teams were scheduled to play against the Eagles in the All-Blacks' double-header, but the copious amounts of falafel which the missing players scarfed down the night before gave the hosts an easy sweep. The wins put the Eagles just a half-game behind the Division of Labor leaders, the Nomads, with three weeks to go in the regular season.

Reports are sketchy at this stage, but we have confirmed that one overzealous Sluggo went outside in the early morning hours to "air himself out," only to blast off to Uganda. Surviving him are six distraught teammates and one ringing cell phone.

Furthermore, our sources inside the Amman Stock Exchange reveal to us that one Eagle, Ben Roberson, is the silent (but deadly) majority owner of Abu Jbara Restaurants. It is no coincidence, therefore, that Eagles captain Tom Manning announced Ben's abrupt departure from Jordan. We like Ben's tactics, and we like his hair, so we'll just wish him good luck in his new life on the run.

BlingNation Scares the Shout Out of Slackers

Bling Bling showed glimpses of their potential against the Slackers.

The women of Bling Bling are a mysterious bunch. As best as we can tell, there are four of them, but only one has bothered to show up every week, and that's Susanna Sawalha.

The inability to play with 10 fielders--and that automatic out for missing a woman--probably cost Bling Bling a win last week against the Beats, and it certainly was a factor in their Week 6 matchup against the Slackers, at least early on.

Bling came out swinging in the first inning and bloodied some Slacker lip with five runs, actually holding a lead through two innings. The stellar play of Blingtosser Saif Barhoum and some lively bats put a real scare into Bargo's Screamin' Burtuqalis.

The Orange never really got into a rhythm until the final inning, when they put the game out of reach with 11 runs. Bling could have used some help from those missing players, especially the women, one of whom had the excuse of a dead car, while another was apparently still drinking from the night before. The third was helping her neighbors make kubbeh.

And through all these tough times, where is the Blingcaptain, Neal Zureikat? We have it on good authority that he's in Orlando, waiting on his custom-fit Mickey Mouse hat to arrive.

Your Looks Got You Far: Now Be In A (Real) Movie

Time's running out for you to be in a real movie, not just these silly little SlogsCenter highlights. Here's the announcement: The company behind the movie The Hurt Locker is seeking interested men and women, ages 18-45, to play soldiers of different armies (U.S., Poland, Australia, etc.) and diplomats in a positive film that attempts to humanize all sides of the situation in Iraq. Filming is taking place right here in Amman. Casting is for paid speaking and paid non-speaking extras to work at various dates between July 22 - Sept 12, in scenes with Hollywood actors and under the direction of Kathryn Bigelow, director of Point Break, Strange Days, K-19, and other films. For more information, please email Lara Atalla at lara.atalla@gmail.com, or call 0777.555.007. [Please note the corrected email address.]