New Team Joins ASL

Let's all make the new guys feel at home...

Mude 8.27.2008

To be continued...

I Have Seen The Future

Zaki posted some predictions for next season, so a timely Slogs response is in order... And speakin' about the All-Seeing Eye...

We at the Slogs are happy the Leech found a friend. Here's the first installment of The Adventures of Leechy and Sponge-O...

It's Off: JoSox Win

JoSox: ASL Summer 2008 Champions

Amman Softball League

Summer 2008 Season Tournament

Friday, August 15 Championship: Slackers 14 JoSox 22 Semis 2: Trojans 7 JoSox 10 Semis 1: Nomads 21 Slackers 26 Play-In Game: Bezzig & Lezzig 10 Trojans 15 Note: The All-Star Game for Saturday is cancelled due to APS.

It's On

Important Announcement From Ziggy & Schwa: The Tourney ends with the Championship Game (2:15 PM) this Friday, August 15. But the All-Star Game will be played the following day at 11:00 AM. We’re contacting players and captains today & tomorrow, but you have to be patient with us. Dialing a phone is kinda hard for us, because we’re cats and have no thumbs. In the meantime, please enjoy our cartoons making fun of Mude, and read the XL edition of the Summer 2008 Tournament Preview.

Ziggy & Schwa, Mude 8/14/2008

But seriously. Read the rules. This is neither the majors nor little league. Pitching, baserunning, substitutions and interference calls are all considerably different, and there are many incorrect assumptions about all of them. Don't get burned. If you know the rules by which we play, you'll have an edge in the Tournament. Here's some more epic posting...

ASL Summer 2008 Tournament Preview PLAY-IN GAME #5 Bezzig & Lezzig (0-8) @ #4 Trojans (3-5) Time: 9:15 AM Conditions: 76 F, WSW 8 MPH Umpires: 1 Slacker + 2 Nomads Kevin’s Take: B&L: This team just doesn't seem to put it all together for the whole game. I have seen them play just a couple times, and they seem to do ok for 2-3 innings and then the flood gates open. Keys to success: Cut down the errors, pitchers need to throw strikes, and of course scoring a lot of runs wouldn't hurt. Trojans: Probably the most dangerous team in the tournament. Everyone expects the JoSox, Slackers, and Nomads to be there but the Men in Black may surprise a few people. Keys to success: Pitching, fielding, and not letting other teams take extra bases on throws all over the field. Massarweh’s Take: B&L: Can't field. Can't hit. But love to play the game. I envy them. Trojans: Take out Aaron Bouchane, Saif Barhoum and Jeff Sillin’s bats, and the Trojans got nothing. Laith Barhoum does make a play, though, every once in a while. Their selectivity on swinging at pitches like women will get them nowhere. Ziggy Says: Massarweh is a chauvinist goat. He compares the Trojans’ selective swinging to feminine behavior, as if women can’t play, but his own team would be no better than 2-6 without their women. And he forgets about Ben Barrows, Tarek Jallad, Laura Alsenas and Mohamed Zalatimo (who is only one of the best pitchers in the league). Prediction: Bezzig will have a great party, regardless of the result. Schwa Says: With a full roster, the Trojans will make noise in this Tourney. The key to the Trojans going far in the playoffs will be their outfield defense and shortstop play, in addition to selecting the right batting order. Prediction: Trojans march on. SEMIS 1 #3 Nomads (5-3) @ #2 Slackers (6-2) Time: 10:45 AM Conditions: 81 F, WSW 9 MPH Umpires: 1 JoSox + 1 Bezzig + 1 Trojan Kevin’s Take: Nomads are the most trash-talking squad in the tournament, and they can never back it. I am sure they will come in brash and cocky after thrashing the JoSox 3 weeks ago but what's done is done. Keys to success: Hitting. Missing two of the better hitters in their lineup, the rest will have to produce. If not, fire up the grill. Slackers, as always, are strictly offensive. Defense is just a place to stand until it's their turn to bat. They were missing a couple of their best hitters in the tiebreaker game, one of which is their top outfielder, Nader Qushair. With Willy gone for the Tourney, it might be a silent Slacker team--unless Rocky Abushaar rejoins the team. Massarweh’s Take: Nomads truly are the most trash-talking team in the Tournament who can’t back it up. More than often than not, they fail to keep a huge lead, and break down in one inning and can’t bounce back. Their players try to do things they simply cannot do. Keys to success: Focus, hit and be mentally tough day in, day out. The skill is there. The mental power to get it done is lacking. Slackers are an offensive superpower, but a defensive dwarf. All you need to do to beat this team is to hit it hard and on the ground. The rest will happen easily. Schwa Says: Don’t you love it when people spout off without having all the facts? Kevin & Massarweh both ripped on the Orange D, but the Slackers were the second-best defensive team in the league this season. They allowed fewer runs per game than the Nomads, and only 5 more all season than the JoSox. On offense, they also finished 2nd to the JoSox, but ahead of the Nomads. Slackers get some key players back, including Nader, Rocky and Yazan Barghouti. The Orange will triumph in this game, and it’s not going to be as close as some may think (or hope) it would be. Ziggy Says: The Slackers are an absolute force. Like my Pops, Mude, has said before, the Orange Way is to keep it in the family and throw everything they have at their opponents. Their ability to score is obvious and their defense is underrated. That sounds like a dangerous combo to me. And the two missing Nomads make it a tough climb for the Sandwalkers. Prediction: Slackers win. SEMIS 2 Winner of #5/#4 @ #1 JoSox (6-2) Time: 12:15 PM Conditions: 84 F, WSW 10 MPH Umpires: 1 From Loser of #3/#2 + 2 From Loser of #5/#4 Kevin’s Take: JoSox: This team doesn't rebuild; it reloads. They seem to have shored up the defensive issues from earlier in the season, and the hitting appears to be peaking. By far the best OF and SS in the league, hands down. Keys to success: Focus. Massarweh’s Take: Most organized and focused team in the Tournament, but by far the most BORING team with no motivation whatsoever (except Kevin). When they reload, they reload, but somehow they manage to reload with players nobody wants. There is no continuity from season to season, which, in my opinion, is the reason behind their lethargic game face. Best SS? I have never seen him play, so I cannot answer. We all know who the best SS in this league is, don’t we, Nomads? (Mude: Why not have a vote, like you did with the Leach [sic]? That would be much more entertaining than Kevin’s hezz danab.) Schwa Says: I’m the Boycat, and I also have a mancrush on Doug “Hoover” Van Zandt. He has been playing shortstop in ASL for four-plus seasons, yet Omar Massarweh claims to have never seen him play. Maybe if CHOKEmar MassERRORweh stepped back from his full-length mirror once in a while, he’d actually catch a glimpse of the other players in this league. Ziggy Says: Easy on Omar, little Schwa. The man’s about to get engaged! About the game: If the JoSox take this game seriously, they’ll march on to the championship game, where the Slackers will be waiting for them. If they goof off and give away outs on defense and on the basepaths, then we’re in for the biggest shocker in our history—bigger than when the Trojans crushed the Nomads last Tourney. Prediction: JoSox remain focused, win the game and bring me meat-filled treats. CHAMPIONSHIP GAME Time: 2:15 PM Conditions: 89 F, WSW-W 10 MPH Umpires: 1 from each of the 3 eliminated teams Preview/Prediction: God only knows, right?

***

Part 1.5: The Leech's Revenge

The trivia question was: Why should we have the After-Season Party as close to the Dead Sea as possible? Answer: Because all that salt will keep the Leech away. Kevin answered the question correctly, but Brooke was technically the first to get it (without a hint, even). They will share the prize of being featured in Amman Softball League's first ever Player Cards. (Sorry, no holograms.) The voting on whether or not to keep the Leech cartoons in the Slogs has been closer than expected. (Hurry and vote at the top of the green column on the right of the Slogs.) Our undercover detectives have unearthed the reason behind all those "No" votes...

And the Leech proves how socially ignorant and frustratingly resilient he is... Next up: Part 2 (The Tourney preview)

Stay tuned...

We're There: Tourney Time, Part 1

Here's an update (unrelated to the Slackers-JoSox game) for all the fans of the Leech. If you like it, I'll make it a regular Slogs feature. You can vote at the top of the column on the right side.

Slackers 7 JoSox 15 The tie is broken. There was much venom. Venomy, venomous venom. Slackers and JoSox finished the regular season tied for first place, and the tiebreaker was to determine Tournament seeding. (A best-of-three coin flip, as agreed on by the captains, determined the home team for this game.) The Tourney schedule is at the bottom. Here are your game notes for Slackers-JoSox: 1. Batting Out Of Order If an infraction is discovered immediately after a batter completes his appearance...any advances or scores due to his action are nullified, he is removed from the bases if he reached, and the proper batter is called out...and the batter that follows the proper batter who was declared out will come to the plate. If the infraction is discovered during a plate appearance (that is, a pitch has been thrown to the current batter)...there is no penalty, but the situation is rectified--the proper batter comes to bat and assumes the improper batter's current count. (LINK) 2. Leading Off A base runner may not leave the base until the bat makes contact with the ball. If the base runner leaves early (after the pitcher is on the rubber for one second but before contact is made), the umpire will declare "no pitch" and the base runner will be called out. If a runner leaves his base during a swing and the batter misses, that runner is out. (LINK) Tournament Schedule (Friday, August 15, 2008): 9:15 AM - Play-In (5) Bezzig & Lezzig @ (4) Trojans 10:45 AM - Semis 1 (3) Nomads @ (2) Slackers 12:15 PM - Semis 2 (5/4) Play-In Winner @ (1) JoSox 2:15 PM - Championship Semis Winners Play, Higher Seed Is Home Team

Almost There: Aug 8 Recap

We're almost done with the regular season. The JoSox win earned them a tiebreaker game against the Slackers to determine the #1 seed. The game will take place Saturday, August 9, at 1:30 PM. Come on out and watch the showdown. Friday, August 8: 10:00 AM: Slackers 0 (Forfeit) JoSox 6 11:30 AM: Trojans 8 JoSox 32 1:00 PM: Nomads 18 Bezzig & Lezzig 4 Standings after 8 games: 1. JoSox 6-2 1. Slackers 6-2 3. Nomads 5-3 4. Trojans 3-5 5. Bezzig & Lezzig 0-8 Tourney (Friday, August 15): 9:30 AM (Play-In Game) #5 Bezzig & Lezzig @ #4 Trojans 11:00 AM (Semis 1) #3 Nomads @ #2 (JoSox/Slackers, TBD) 12:30 PM (Semis 2) #5/#4 Winner @ #1* (JoSox/Slackers, TBD) 2:15 PM (Championship) Winners of Semis 1 & 2, with the higher seed home *Note: #1 seed may pick their Semis game time.

Preview: Regular Season Finale

As half-expected, the Slackers had to forfeit to the JoSox this week. This is why the potential tiebreaker game was set up for Saturday--so the Slackers could field a full team for the game that mattered. We will have one tiebreaker game. Your up-to-date Tournament scenarios: A: If JoSox win, they play Slackers on Saturday to determine the #1 Seed, leaving Nomads as #3 and Trojans #4 (regardless of what happens in the Nomads-Bezzig & Lezzig game). B: If Nomads lose and Trojans win, then Nomads-Trojans play a tiebreaker for #3/4. C: If Nomads & Trojans win, Nomads-JoSox play a tiebreaker for #2/3. 10:00 AM Slackers "0" @ "10" JoSox Forfeit Slackers finish 6-2 JoSox are 5-2 with one to play 11:30 AM Trojans @ JoSox (Umped by Bezzig & Lezzig) Trojans 3-4 JoSox 5-2 1:00 PM Nomads @ Bezzig & Lezzig (Umped by Trojans) Nomads 4-3 Bezzig 0-7 Note: We could not adjust the schedule, due to the late Slackers forfeit. The Tournament is next Friday, August 15, and the All-Star Game is on Saturday, August 16.

I Can See Clearly Now...Sorta

Week 6 Recap. Tighty Whitey to start, more details to follow. (If you have stats, pics or something else from your game that you'd like to have included, please email it to me & I'll work it in.) The Tourney picture is finally coming into focus. Friday, August 1: 10:00 AM: Bezzig & Lezzig 7 @ 11 Slackers 11:30 AM: Nomads 13 @ 12 Slackers (Jordan Cup Final) 1:00 PM: Trojans 10 @ 12 Nomads Standings with one week left in the regular season: 1. Slackers (6-1) Status: Cannot finish below 2nd. Best Case: If they beat JoSox next week, they're the #1 Seed. Worst Case: Lose to JoSox; play JoSox for a #1/2 tiebreaker. 2. JoSox (4-2) Status: Can still finish between #1 & #4. Best Case: Beat Slackers & Trojans next week, then play tiebreaker vs Slackers for #1. Worst Case: Lose to Slackers & Trojans (+Nomads loss); play tiebreaker vs Trojans and Nomads for #2/3/4.* 3. Nomads (4-3) Status: Can finish between #2 & #4. Best Case: #2 Seed with win vs Bezzig & Lezzig + JoSox losses to Slackers & Trojans. Worst Case: Lose to Bezzig + Trojans win, play Trojans for #3/4. 4. Trojans (3-4) Status: Can finish between #2 & #4. Best Case: Beat JoSox + Nomads loss + JoSox loss to Slackers; play Nomads and JoSox for #2/3/4.* Worst Case: Lose to JoSox, #4 Seed. 5. Bezzig & Lezzig (0-7) Status: Locked in at #5 Seed. 6. The Beats Status: Just seeing if you're paying attention. Still with me? * This is the Doomsday Scenario, a three-team mini-tourney. Nomads-Trojans would play on Friday at 2:30, with the winner playing the JoSox on Saturday, followed by the loser playing JoSox right after that. Repeat until a team wins two games (that team is #2). The two other teams play again, with the winner #3 and the loser #4. I don't even want to think about this.

Schedule Update

Friday, August 1: 10:00 AM: Bezzig & Lezzig @ Slackers 11:30 AM: Nomads @ Slackers (Jordan Cup Final) 1:00 PM: Trojans @ Nomads Since this is a bye for the JoSox, we will ump all the games. Friday, August 8: 10:00 AM: Slackers @ JoSox (Umped by B & L) 11:30 AM: Trojans @ JoSox (Umped by B & L) 1:00 PM: Nomads @ Bezzig & Lezzig (Umped by Trojans) The Tournament will be played on Friday, August 15, as scheduled. The All-Star Game will be played on Saturday, August 16. Important for everyone except Bezzig: The Nomads-Slackers game will not count in the standings. This is just an extra game to determine the winner of the Jordan Cup. It will, however, serve as the tiebreaker in case the two teams end up with the same record. If Trojans-Nomads need a tiebreaker, it will be played on Friday, August 8, at 2:30 PM. Any other tiebreaker(s) will be played on Saturday, August 9, if necessary. Note: The captains have had this info since Saturday, July 26. Here's where each team stands with two games to go: 1. Slackers (5-1): If they win their remaining games, they are the #1 Seed. They cannot finish below #3. 2. JoSox (4-2): Can finish from #1 to #4. 3. Trojans (3-3): Can finish from #2 to #4. 4. Nomads (3-3): Can finish from #1 to #4. 5. Bezzig & Lezzig (0-6): Locked into the #5 Seed. (Look at it this way: B&L is the first team to officially clinch a playoff spot.) Note: The order is based on current standings, through Week 5 (Games of July 25).

Load Up On Canned Goods

The End of Days is nearly upon us. It must be.

Nomads 24

JoSox 12

No choke job this time. It was all Nomads, from beginning to end.

The Nomads jumped all over the JoSox, right from the start, building an 11-3 lead after two innings and never looking back. The JoSox dugout exhibited none of the confidence of the teams' earlier meeting, when the Sox put up 16 runs in the 5th inning to steal a comeback win. As such, there was little panic in the 'Mads, as they held a commanding 21-7 lead after five.

Batting cleanup and driving his team's offense, Nomads' centerfielder Zaki Ibrahim went 5-for-5 with 5 runs and 5 RBI. Nice day. From the two-hole, third baseman Khaled Rihani went 4-for-4 with 4 runs and 4 RBI, including a sacrifice fly.

Tamara Hawatmeh (far left) and Ghadeer Ibrahim (2nd from right) went from baking to hitting.

In what turned out to be the game's turning point, the JoSox were hoping to induce a double play and limit the damage caused by the Nomads' 2nd inning barage. With two on and one out, Nomads catcher Tamara Hawatmeh came up clutch with a single, which proved to be just the start of her terrific day: 3-for-4 with a run and 3 RBI. Ghadeer Abujudeh-Ibrahim didn't have quite the same day, but she did her part in the 2nd by getting on base and keeping the rally going.

Nomads shortstop Omar Massarweh went 1-for-5 with 2 RBI, but he did manage to get on base regularly, courtesy of 3 JoSox errors. Massarweh also committed three errors on defense, with a fourth error coming on a little A-Rod-style vocal interference from Sox' Ash Samawi. (Omar requested to have his stats in big games published. Careful what you wish for.)

Bezzig & Lezzig Get Swept, Party On

Trojans 21

Bezzig & Lezzig 2

Bezzig & Lezzig 9

Slackers 22

Let's not dwell on the negatives too much. Yes, B&L were swept by the Trojans and Slackers in their doubleheader. The Spitters could have taken a forfeit by the late-rising Trojans. (Insert joke here about a team named after a condom whose players cannot get up when it matters.) But Bezzig & Lezzig put on their Good Sports t-shirts and allowed their foes an extra 20 minutes to assemble their team.

But you know what? Who cares. Proof is in the pic below...

Bezzig Lezzig lost the day, but won the weekend.

Week 4: Loudmouths Lose

We've talked about Karma around here before.

After one post on these Slogs elicited 80 comments (not including the deleted ones), it appeared that we Sloggers were headed down a dark, dank, dangerous tunnel (Note: Nothing to do with Madonna), the other side of which runs on trash-talking and erotic humor rather than timely hitting and solid defense.

But ultimately, this league runs on Karma.

The blabbering going on within those four-score wit-bombs was basically an ugly threesome. (Note: Imagine the mom from Throw Mama From The Train getting it on with Steve Buscemi and Kathy Bates. There, I just saved you 45 minutes of going through all those comments.) The Nomads started it, Bezzig & Lezzig replied, and the JoSox jumped in. Rinse, repeat.

Ain't no sandwich like a Buscemi sandwich.

Guess which teams lost their following games? Yup. All three teams represented in the insultathon went home losers. Some would argue that they left home losers, too, but that's not what our loved ones keep telling us. (Shame/Disclosure: Three captains were involved, myself included. Cyanide, get in my belly.)

Slackers 21, JoSox 11

Having lost nine straight games to the various teams housing this season's JoSox, the Slackers mainlined iced coffee, snorted foul line chalk, traded some insults amongst each other, put on their Orange mesh, and started hitting.

Scream Leader Walid Abu Hassan went 2-3 with 5 RBI, while Nadim Kayyali and Yazan Barghouti each hit 3-4 with 3 RBI. But the real story was the bottom of the Slackers' order: Laith Abushaar, Tania Jordan, Nada Samawi and Nader Qushair combined to go 10-11 with 10 runs scored. (The girls were a perfect 6 for 6.)

On the JoSox side, Jeff Coupe and Shukri Saleh tried to keep up, with a total of 8-8, 5 runs and 5 RBI. The score was 10-9 after three innings, but the Slack Attack outmuscled the Sox, 11-2, down the stretch.

Since their first season in the league, back in Summer '06, the Slackers have been among the elite, even though they have not won it all. Strictly a family affair, the Orange feature brothers & sisters, husbands & wives, cousins & lifelong friends. They've never recruited or accepted another team's player and always give everyone regular playing time. Ziggy & Schwa have the feeling that Karma has been watching and will soon reward the Slacker Way.

Slackers 21, Nomads 16

After dispatching the JoSox, the Slackers found themselves in the position of playing for first place. Their opponents, the Nomads, were looking to climb from 4th into a tie for 2nd place.

Things appeared to be going the Bedouins' way, as they jumped all over the Slackers to the tune of a 15-4 lead midway through the game. But these are the Nomads, who have been known to blow big leads before--often.

The Slackers remembered who they were playing and put on their patented Orange Crush, finishing the game on a 17-1 (!) tear for a 21-16 triumph, sweeping the toughest double-header any team has faced this summer and confirming that they are the team to beat this season.

Don't believe that last statement? Smoke this: Down the stretch in their two games, the Slackers outscored the JoSox and Nomads by a combined score of 28-3. Twenty-eight to three.

There's a new hammer in town, people, and it's painted Burtuqali. The Nomads, meanwhile, remained in 4th place, while the JoSox dropped to 2nd. Slackers will play Nomads for the rubber game of the Jordan Cup (August 1, will not directly count in the standings) and finish the regular season against the JoSox (August 8).

Trojans 10, Bezzig & Lezzig 9

Searching for their first win of the season, Bezzig & Lezzig found themselves in a tight game with their rivals, the Trojans, who led 3-0 after three innings.

Co-captain Maher Abu Arja took time from pounding the sand with his leg cast and opened up his copy of the ASL rules. Huh, both teams are allowed to hit. And hit they did: 9-3 Bezzig lead midway through the 5th inning.

Trojan co-captain Laith Barhoum then calmly called a timeout and, in a very civil manner, inquired of the league coordinator as to the possibility of there being even a chance that his team might be within the rules if they responded to B&L's offensive outburst. Laith? Offensive outburst? Really?

Given the green light, the Prophos put up four runs in the bottom of the 5th and shut down the Spitters in the top of the 6th inning. Just prior to their final inning turn at bat, the Trojans purchased some carousel tickets. And around they went: Walk, single, walk, single, walk. Two runs in, game tied at 9, and the bases loaded for Saif Barhoum.

Saif can bench press around 250 lbs*. He is one of only a handful of ASL players with true home run power. What's sexier than a walk-off grand slam to beat your most hated rivals? A walk, that's what. Because a walk is the smart play in that situation. And Saif is a smart guy, so he did walk in the winning run, giving his team a 10-9 win and sole possession of 3rd place in the standings.

Unfazed, Bezzig & Lezzig hocked a loogie and headed down to their official team headquarters (Captain Jawad Dabbas' farmhouse in the Jordan Valley) to celebrate. Abu Jeep and his team went all Biblical Locust Plague on anything with an alcohol content, guzzling and swimming until the wee hours of the morning. A couple of their fans joined them (Note: Brooke and I), strictly to document the happenings in a professional and unbiased manner.

*250 lbs. (about 114 kg): That is the exact weight of the woman who knocked on my door the other day, claiming to be starving and begging for my used shoes, so she can sell them to buy food. When I offered her food instead (Note: I am a shoe whore), she turned her back on me and got back in the elevator. It's not like I offered her bacon. Sheesh.

Still trying to get the Buscemi Sandwich out of your head? Good luck with that.

Rivalry Week: Kinder, Gentler

If you're not a good sport going forward, you may very well be ejected from the game. This is absolutely serious. There will be zero tolerance for arguing & shouting matches. Be civil, please. 10:00 AM JoSox @ Slackers (Umped by Nomads) Temp: 27°-29°C (81°-84°F) Winds: 13-15 km/h (8-10 mph), from West** To completely demean myself by bringing Bon Jovi into the Slogs, only the names will change. Whether it's the Green Monsters, Traitors, or JoSox, the Slackers know who their rivals are. The Green Traitor Sox have won nine of the ten games, with the Slackers managing to snag only the first meeting. Schwa Says: JoSox are living dangerously with all those fly balls. Ziggy Says: Slacker Serenity Sabotages Sox. Oh, and meow. Summer '06 July 21, 2006 (Wk 5): Slackers def. Green Monsters* July 28, 2006 (Wk 6): Green Monsters def. Slackers* Winter '07 Feb 23, 2007 (Wk 4): Green Monsters def. Slackers* Mar 9, 2007 (Wk 6): Green Monsters* def. Slackers Summer '07 June 15, 2007 (Wk 1): Traitors* def. Slackers Aug 10, 2007 (Wk 9): Traitors def. Slackers* Aug 17, 2007 (Tourney Semis): Traitors* 13, Slackers 6 Winter '08 Dec 8, 2007 (Wk 1): Green Monsters 33, Slackers* 11 Feb 9, 2008 (Wk 6): Green Monsters* 19, Slackers 15 Mar 14, 2008 (Tourney Championship): Green Monsters* 16, Slackers 7 11:30 AM Nomads @ Slackers (Umped by JoSox) Temp: 29°-31°C (84°F-88°F) Winds: 14-18 km/h (9-11 mph), from West** It seems like just yesterday that the first Jordan Cup Derby was played. This will be Version 5. The Nomads lead 3-1 all-time. The Slackers started the last meeting with only nine players, and the difference in the outcome was one ten-run inning by the Nomads. Get your aspirin ready. Schwa Says: Break a leg, Massarweh. Ziggy Says: In three places. Summer '07 Jul 13, 2007 (Wk 5): Nomads 14, Slackers* 11 Winter '08 Dec 15, 2007 (Wk 2): Nomads* 18, Slackers 15 Mar 7, 2008 (Wk 10): Slackers* 22, Nomads 21 Summer '08 June 27, 2008 (Wk 2): Nomads* 22, Slackers 13 1:00 PM Bezzig & Lezzig @ Trojans (Umped by Slackers) Temp: 32°-33°C (89°-91°F) Winds: 18-19 km/h (11-12 mph), from West** Last summer, there was a team called Bling Bling. While calling them terrible is an insult to Ivan, they did manage to win one game...by forfeit. Somehow, that one win was split into two teams last season. The Trojans are back for sloppy seconds their second season, continuing to provide safe pleasure for ASL, while last season's 4U2NV squad caught a case of the evil eye and is now known as Bezzig & Lezzig. All-time series is tied at one. Schwa Says: If Bezzig's full roster shows up, they'll be tough to beat. Ziggy Says: Jeff Sillin, Saif Barhoum, Aaron Bouchane. Yikes. Winter '08 Dec 15, 2007 (Wk 2): 4U2NV* 24, Trojans 23 Mar 7, 2008 (Wk 10): Trojans* 18, 4U2NV 12 * Home Team ** Winds from the West blow from left field toward the Clubhouse

Craziest Day In ASL History

WARNING: Some of this post is Adult Swim. To the easily offended, please go away.

Maher Abu Arja gave it his all.

Such a grand post title, but the men & women of this league sure as heck justified it on Friday, July 11, 2008. This marvelous day deserves a record-breaking entry.

All three games featured last-inning comebacks. That's never happened before. Even more remarkable was that in all three games, it was the visiting team which came back and won. Roll film...

JoSox 24, Nomads 14
(Disclosure: I am the captain of the JoSox.)

Wait, Uncle Mude. That doesn't look like a close game! I never said "close games" -- I said "comebacks." But this game was close early, with the JoSox clinging to a 6-5 lead heading into the bottom of the 4th. That's when the Nomads flexed some desert muscle and piled up nine runs. Nine of the ten-strong bedouin batters reached base in the frame, with brand-new papa Eiad Zoubi doing so twice. The Green Sox of Jordan could only respond with two runs, but held the 'Mads scoreless in the bottom of the 5th. 14-8, Nomads lead, after five.

And that was when the hammer remembered it was the hammer, and the nail remembered it was the nail. Working from the top of the order in their 6th and final inning, the first nine JoSox batters reached base, then the first out came, then it was back to the bases-loaded carousel, with the next four hitters reaching base. During that run, the JoSox hit just two doubles. Aside from two walks, the rest were all singles. JoSox were suddenly up 16-14, and the bases were loaded. Bleed them to death.

Now, you may have missed all the give, the give back, and give some more going on in the days leading up to this game. Let's just say this game meant a lot to JoSox Shukri Saleh and friend-turned-adversary-but-still-friend, Nomad Omar Massarweh. I mentioned the bases were loaded, right? Did I mention Shukri was up to bat?

As two-time ASL home run champ, Shuk may have the reputation as a brash, me-first guy. Not true. He is extremely coachable and a good teammate. He always asks for the "green light" to swing for the fences, and hasn't made it a habit, either on the Sox or when he was a Green Monster, to do so on his own. On his way to his final at-bat against the Nomads, the following exchange took place:

Shuk: "Hey, Mude. Should I go?"
Mude: "Wouldn't be a bad idea."
Shuk: "Brooke, feel like running?"
Brooke, on 3rd base, simply smiles.

16-14 JoSox, bases loaded, 18 km/h wind blowing in from left field. Shukri Saleh channeled the frustrations of the previous two seasons into the rarest gem of this magnificent game: the easy power of a perfect swing. The ball kissed off the bat toward left field at a an arc low enough for the fielders below to be mocked by its travel plans. Like a beautiful girl from a poor, third-world family getting a visa to some far-off, exotic land of opportunity, the ball whistled its way over the heads of the shell-shocked Nomads, as if to say, "I'm getting the hell out of here, and you can't do a damn thing about it."

Grand Slam. Against his old team. And he called it.

There was no fight left in the Nomads. Their home half of the 6th was marked by the seductive comfort of knowing one's place in the world: Nail, meet Hammer.

Notes: JoSox Ali Lejlic and Ash Samawi each went 5-for-5 in the game. Brooke Sartawi is the lucky charm, having never lost to the Nomads. Khaled Rihani of the Nomads went 4-for-4 with 3 runs. Nomads pitcher Saad Kurdi faced 54 batters and walked only 4 (and hit 3-for-4 in the game).

JoSox 12, Bezzig & Lezzig 6

This game started as the evil twin of last season's 4U2NV shocker over the Green Monsters. With the scions of those teams facing off, and with the B & L crew spitting & sticking their way to an early 6-0 lead, it was all just a little bit of history repeating.

But the Green Monsters were most likely drunk that leap day, as usual, and the JoSox had a couple of 4U2NV's secret weapons on their side in starting pitcher Neal Zureikat, who held the Jury-Riggers scoreless after the six-run outburst, and in catcher Maha Swais, who was perfect at the plate and scored the winning run.

You know what? To Jahannam with all that. Let's talk about Maher Abu Arja. Pitching against the two guys who tied for the Home Run Crown last season, Maher allowed Javier "Gunny" Diaz and Shukri Saleh only a single apiece in a combined six plate appearances. Batting in front of those two? The guy who tied for second in the homer race, Ash Samawi. Facing those odds, Maher allowed only six runs on his watch to the JoSox. That's a guy with beidat the size of Saturn right there.

A little background on Young Maher. When he first joined ASL a couple of seasons ago, Maher didn't know how to hold a bat, let alone swing it. His plate appearances were easy comedy, the softball equivalent of "That's what she said" jokes. After striking out a few times on swings that could best be described as Alfonso Soriano getting hit by the short bus, he took a liking to striking out looking. Saved time. On defense, however, his game could best be described by imagining a near-sighted virgin on a prom date with Jenna Jameson. "The equipment before me looks to be of a professional grade," Maher would think to himself, "but I'm not sure what to do with it." A lot of jumping and diving into the wrong places ensued.

Here's the thing, though: Maher loves baseball. He loves to watch the game and track its stats. And he desperately wants to be good at it. So he watches MLB games, many with 2 AM local start times, savoring every nuance of the sport. He downloads videos on batting techniques. He picks the brains of the more experienced players in ASL. And he practices with the devotion of a chanting monk. And it's all paying off, not just with his pitching, which is the rarest of talents in our league, but with his hitting as well. He went 3-for-3 in this game, including his first ever double, and he scored 33% of his team's runs.

On his third at-bat, Maher didn't hit the ball well, and he knew it. So he charged to first base to try to beat the throw, hurling himself at the bag in reckless desperation. He was safe by a hair, but then came the awful scream. Slamming his knee against the hard ground during the dive--and tearing off a chunk of skin--he held onto the base, lest he be tagged out (his head was still in the game), and asked for a time out. Unable to run, Maher was subbed for by a courtesy runner, and he limped off the field in obvious and severe pain.

Then he came back in and pitched to three batters in the next inning. I told you about the Saturn beidat. No joke. That was the gutsiest thing I've seen in our six seasons. No longer able to withstand the pain and not wanting to hurt his team with his immobility, Maher grudgingly left the game, still tied at six. The loss which followed was nobody's fault, but his injury is much more severe than we all feared. And for that, the Softball Gods are to blame. Give us back one of the truly good guys, you feckless overseers of the game. Damnit.

Get well soon, Maher.

Notes: Jeff Coupe went 4-for-4 during the game, which fell on his 49th 27th birthday. Happy Brithday, Coupe, and how'd that job interview go? Also, B & L's George Seagle is a helluva ballplayer. Tamy "Stitch" Goudian probably has the best set of batter's eyes in this league. Nobody lets the junk pitches go better than she does.

Slackers 14, Trojans 13

Some levity is needed, no? This game provided it. From the opening bell, your Slogger-in-Chief knew it was going to be a long day. It started off with a new Trojans player (Note: Can we agree to call all new Trojans "rubberlings"?) objected to nearly every call made by the ump (Follow-up Note: Me). Well, not every call. Just the ones that went against his team. Seems fair enough. The essence of his game-long position was this: Players who are obviously "out" should not be called out; they should be issued a warning instead. Hmmm...

Popped up into the waiting glove of an infielder? Give it another try, sport.

Missed home plate while trying to score? Go back and do it again, kiddo.

Struck out? Shucks, here's a warning for now, and the next strike will be the real strike three.

OK, strike four doesn't count, either. But strike five is the really real strike three.

I'm not bitter. Only amused. Making your point by arguing that this is not the World Series, yet arguing every play like it is the damned World Series, simply negates your point. You can look that up in one of those logic charts, I think. Anyway, there are no Mulligans in baseball & softball. Actually, there are a couple. They're called balls and strikes. Those are your warnings. But Rubberlings are awfully cute at that age, aren't they?

(Trivia: What is less than six pages long and carries the title "Amman Softball League: 2008 Rules" on its front page? Wait, did I just give away the answer?)

Now for the fun part. Here are some actual exchanges that occurred between the Slackers:

A player in the Slackers dugout was heckling his teammate during his at-bat. The batter asked for time, stepped out of the box, and told the heckler (his teammate) to "consume feces." This is now known as the "Kol Khara Timeout."

Karim Barghouti, one of the very few sane and rational Slackers, finally reached his breaking point. While on the mound and getting yelled at by one of his outfielders, Karim stepped off the rubber and loudly instructed the offending OFer to carefully place the part of his body which first tastes food into the part of Karim's body which excretes digested food. Then he stepped back on the rubber and threw a strike. This is now known as the "Human Bidet Challenge."

And an oldie but goodie:

Slacker 1 to Slacker 2: "I make reference to your maternal parent's reproductive area!"
Slacker 2 to Slacker 1: "I make reference to your maternal parent's reprodcutive area, you canine!"
Umpire to Slacker 3: "If someone said that to me, I'd kill him."
Slacker 3 to Umpire: "It's OK. They're brothers."

This is now known as the "Kaf Alef Brotherhood"

You can't make this stuff up. Back to the game with a recap: The Trojans were up 8-6 heading into the 6th inning. The visiting Slackers scored three to take a one-run lead, only to allow the Prophos the tying run in the bottom half. Extra inning. Yay. At least it was really hot and dusty out there.

The Slackers settled down in the 7th and put up five more runs. When the Trojans came up for their last shot at the game, they showed some serious heart by loading the bases and quickly bringing in a run. Bases still loaded for Jeff Sillin, who hit a towering Grand Slam against the Nomads in last season's tournament. Ball smoked to deep center. And around they go. One run, two runs, three runs score. The Slackers' lead was down to one, with Muscle Man Bashmaster Saif Barhoum up next and the tying run in the form of Jeff on third--wait, not on third, but rounding third!

The relay throw comes in just to the first-base side of home plate. Karim's in position. He fields it off the ground and dives across the plate to meet the speedy and sliding Jeff. The umpire's eight inches away as their bodies collide.

Out at home. Clean play.

And in the on-deck circle, Saif stood with the bat on his shoulder. Next time.

Howzabouta Sked, Boss?

Week 3 and beyond, for your swatting pleasure... Friday, July 11, 2008 10:00 AM - JoSox @ Nomads (umped by Bezzig & Lezzig) The Nomads asked for an extra week before playing the JoSox. Request granted. 11:30 AM - JoSox @ Bezzig & Lezzig (umped by Slackers) Ain't no party like a Spit & Stick party 'cuz a Spit & Stick party don't stop. 1:00 PM - Slackers @ Trojans (umped by JoSox) Over/Under on players with a hangover: 9.5 * * * Here's the rest of the schedule, all the way to the Tourney on August 15: Click Here For Full Schedule

Week 2 Results

Sleeper Cells JoSox 22 Trojans 7 Nomads 22 Slackers 13 Nomads 21 Bezzig & Lezzig 7 Schedule: The whole damn league is off for the 4th of July. It must be some kinda holiday or something. Next games are on July 11th. Stay tuned for the schedule, which is being reworked to account for the rescheduled games. Practice: The big field is now available on a daily basis. Please reserve your team's slot in the comments section of this post. If you miss out on your preferred day/time, you may reserve the small field. In the comments, leave: Your Name Your Team The Field (Big or Small) Day, Date & Time of Practice

Summer '08: Week One Results

Games of Friday, June 20, 2008 Rock Sorters JoSox 19 Bezzig & Lezzig* 5 Bezzig & Lezzing are still, um, cohering, so the Rock Sorters (Note: Temporary name) feel fortunate to come out with a win. Ziggy & Schwa agree that B & L's best days are ahead of them. Sorters' Kevin woke up before 10 AM in Michigan to find out the result. See, to be a Rock Sorter, you have to be dedicated...to sorting rocks. Trojans 12 Nomads 11 The Trojans continue their dominance over the Nomads, making it two straight over the No-Shuks, going back to last season's playoffs. The Nomads stuck an "IV" at the end of their name, because, well, they are a dynasty. But after this game, they just needed an IV to replenish all those lost fluids. The Trojans appear to have climbed to the elite level of ASL's teams. Slackers 20 Trojans 12 The Slackers didn't yell. Were they missing a player? Seriously, is Wally Abu Hassan even in the country? Is Rocky Abushaar in some Zen meditation program? The Trojans chipped away at the Slackers' first-inning, 10-run barrage, but the Mighty Orange held the Prophos off for the win. The Slackers offense is as potent as ever, and their defense is getting solid. *** It's early, but you cannot keep the cats quiet. Here are Ziggy & Schwa's thoughts on who has a chance at winning it all this season: Slackers: 2-1 Trojans: 3-1 Rock Sorters JoSox: 7-2 Nomads: 8-1 Bezzig & Lezzig: 9-1 *Bezzig means "spit" (verb) & Lezzig means "stick (as in to paste)" (verb). This is basically the Arabic phrase for "jury-rig."

Summer '08 Opening Day

Friday, June 20, 2008 10 AM: Jawaher or the Dragons or Formerly 4U2NV @ The Team in White Featuring Le Freak (UPDATE 7/7/08: This ends up being Bezzig & Lezzig @ JoSox) 11:30 AM: No-mads IV No-Shukri @ Trojans 1:00 PM: Trojans @ Slackers Registration: Please get with your captains and be sure you pay your registration fee this Friday, June 20. ASL will not chase people down: IF YOU DON'T PAY, YOU WON'T PLAY. Bats: After some research, many of the bats we thought were illegal are actually legal. (Saif's home run stands!) If you wish to buy a bat for personal use, please make sure that it is STAMPED with ASA's approval. (What is NOT OK: NSA, USSSSSSSSA, ISA, "Official Softball," etc.) Only ASA bats going forward. This has been in our rules since we started Amman Softball League. It's a safety issue. No whining about it, please. (Blame Eyad Zoubi of the Nomads for being the first person in ASL's six seasons to ever ask the ump to check the legality of a bat. And this was after a home run during a freaking scrimmage game.) Sportsmanship: If you want to complain about a call during a game, hold your tongue. Be cool and don't embarrass yourself or the league. Finally: READ THE RULES. They're the same as last season. (Look in the Downloadables section, on the right. UPDATE: The link has been fixed. Thanks, Karim! A single click will now take you to the download page.) Good luck, play hard and be safe. It's wide open this season. Anyone can take the trophy.

Summer League '08

Hey Kids... Amman Softball League's Summer Season will begin on June 13. If you were a captain during the Winter '08 Season, expect an email with info to hop into your inbox tomorrow morning (May 27). If you're new to ASL and wish to participate, either by joining a team or forming a new one, please use the contact info (in the sidebar of this page...over there, to the right) to contact me. Please don't send a text message, though. I hate that crap. Players who are at least 18 years old are welcome. Children, however, can go do what children do here in Jordan: Disturb my nap time, throw junk food wrappers in the street, and generally act like a walking ad for birth control. Happy Swingin'!

Green Monsters - Humiliation

No, not the 4U2NV game. This time, we do it to ourselves... For best results, make sure the volume on your surround sound speakers is cranked to 11. Then, disconnect the speakers before playing the clip.

Alter Ego

Tighty Whitey Tourney Recap

Green Monsters: Three-time Champs.

Round 1:
4U2NV 12, Hit Squad 11
Trojans 20, Nomads 16

Semis:
Slackers 26, 4U2NV 13
Green Monsters 22, Trojans 14

Championship:
Green Monsters 16, Slackers 7

Coming up this next week:

Full, Team-By-Team Season Recap

Video Highlight of the Season

All-Star Game Recap

History of Amman Softball League

Summer 2008 Season Info

If you have pics or video you'd like to have included, please email me. The email address is on the right side of the Slogs.

Tourney Preview

This is all you're going to get...

Tourney Time

Tournament Schedule

(Games limited to 70 minutes each, except Championship) FRIDAY, MARCH 14, 2008 Round 1: 9:00 AM #5 Hit Squad @ #4 4U2NV 10:15 AM #6 Trojans @ #3 Nomads Semis: 11:45 AM: Higher Seeded Round 1 Winner @ #2 Slackers 1:00 PM: Lower Seeded Round 1 Winner @ #1 Green Monsters Championship: 2:30 PM: Semis Winners Play Each Other (Higher Seed is Home Team) THE ALL-STAR GAME IS SET FOR SATURDAY, MARCH 15, 11 AM - 1 PM.

By popular request, Ziggy & Schwa will have a Tourney Preview on Thursday. Week 10 Results: Trojans 18, 4U2NV 12 Slackers 22, Nomads 21 Green Monsters 42, Hit Squad 11

Tater Tots

Congratulations to Javier "Gunny" Diaz and Shukri "Freak" Saleh, who share the Winter 2008 Home Run crown. Both bashers fell one shy of tying former Green Monster Mike Moore for the record, which Mike set in Winter 2007. (He hit his five blasts in an 8-game season, and we've since gone to 10.) The 24 home runs that the 12 guys combined for is easily a record for one season. Smashed the old total by so much, it's not even worth mentioning. Testing for steroids, HGH, and spiked mansaf will be implemented next season. Here's your final tally: 4: Javier "Gunny" Diaz, Green Monsters Shukri "Freak" Saleh, Nomads 3: Aaron Bouchane, Trojans Ash Samawi, Green Monsters 2: Saif Barhoum, Trojans Brent Hill, Hit Squad 1: Yazan Barghouti, Slackers Jeff Coupe, Green Monsters Zaki Ibrahim, Nomads Nadim Kayyali, Slackers Larry Martin, Hit Squad Mark McPherson, Hit Squad Player Notes: Green Monsters' Brooke Sartawi led all women with five inside-the-park home runs. Her teammate Kevin Rowlson led the league in homers allowed with, like, sixty. The Trojans' Saif Barhoum joined Mark McPherson as the only players in ASL history to hit Grand Slams. (Mark did it in Winter 2007 for the Beats.) Do you remember when Larry Martin led the league in homers this season? He did, and for quite a long time. 4U2NV's Jafar Dabbas and Omar Abu Abdelsamad each missed hitting one out by less than five feet during Week 10. Ash Samawi out-homered his former team, 3-2. There is no effective way to pitch around Aaron Bouchane and Brent Hill; they both can hit anything. Cheers to Nadim Kayyali for representing the Little Guys. ASL's first champs, Glock Therapy (Summer 2005) did not have one home run all that season. The last remaining player from that team is Hit Squad's Chris Hattayer, who is due for one this season. Random Notes: Tournament stats, including homers, are separate, just like they are in every sport ... Green Monsters led the league in team home runs with 8 ... Only one team did not have at least one home run hitter (4U2NV), but only one team beat the Green Monsters (4U2NV) ... Five of the top six sluggers had multi-homer days ... Finally, FYI: CLICKITY (Clip #1 from the "As Seen on the Broadcast" section on the right. Watch for the second guy they catch.)

MONSTER SLAYERS!

4U2NV outshone the Monsters in all facets of the game: Offense, Defense, Heart.

Week 9's Games:

4U2NV 19, Green Monsters 8

Slackers 23, Hit Squad 8

Nomads 17, Trojans 15

Week 7's Games (Rainout Makeup):

Green Monsters 22, Nomads 6

Slackers 27, Trojans 18

Hit Squad 27, 4U2NV 13

Home Runs on the weekend of Feb. 29 & Mar. 1:

Saif Barhoum, Trojans (Grand Slam)
Gunny Diaz, Green Monsters

Zaki Ibrahim, Nomads

Mark McPherson, Hit Squad

Shukri Saleh, Nomads

Playoff Scenarios:

1. Green Monsters have clinched the #1 Seed for the Tourney.
2/3. The winner of Nomads @ Slackers on March 7 will be #2 Seed; loser is #3.
4/5. If 4U2NV & Hit Squad have the same result in their respective games on March 7 (both win or both lose), a tiebreaker game will be needed to determine the #4/#5 Seeds.
6. Trojans are locked into the #6 Seed.

Week 10, Regular Season Finale
Friday, March 7, 2008:

10:00 AM - 4U2NV @ Trojans (Umps: 2 Slackers)
11:30 AM - Nomads @ Slackers (Umps: 1 Monster + 1 Trojan)
1:00 PM - Hit Squad @ Green Monsters (Umps: 2 Nomads)
2:30 PM - Hit Squad/4U2NV Tiebreaker (If Necessary)

(We'll honor 4U2NV's accomplishment soon.)

Double Headers

With temps in the low-to-mid 60's this weekend and a week to make up, let's play two. Friday, Feb. 29 (Note the goofy start times): 9:30 AM: Hit Squad @ 4U2NV (Umps: Slackers)* 11:00 AM: Slackers @ Hit Squad (Umps: 4U2NV + Green Monsters) 12:30 PM: Green Monsters @ Nomads (Umps: Hit Squad)* 2:00 PM: 4U2NV @ Green Monsters (Umps: Nomads) Saturday, March 1: 10:00 AM: Trojans @ Slackers (Umps: Nomads)* 11:30 AM: Trojans @ Nomads (Umps: Slackers) * Week 7 makeup games.

Taters

How about a record nine home runs in one day? That's what we had on Friday, February 22, 2008. Welcome back, Freak. Nomads' Shukri Saleh responded to the challenge and put himself in a tie for the home run chase...in three at-bats. Green Monster Ash Samawi became the first player to homer for two different teams during the same season...and he did it on the same day. (One for his team and one for Hit Squad.) His teammate Javier "Gunny" Diaz kept up with a bomb of his own. Yet another Monster, Jeff Coupe, sent one into orbit--just 'cuz it looked like it'd be enjoyable. Who the heck does Nadim Kayyali think he is? The Slacker went yard in the morning game, which means you should be on the lookout for beasts out of the sea and earth. And don't forget about the talking trees. The Trojans have a beast of their own in Aaron Bouchane. The rookie absolutely crushed a meatball into the lot behind left field. Now can someone please explain why Aaron was batting seventh? As always, only "real" homers count. The record for a total season (including the tourney) is 6, by Shukri Saleh (Nomads, Summer 2007). The record for a regular season tally is 5, by Mike Moore (Green Monsters, Winter 2007). Here's the way the Home Run Race looks through Feb. 22: 3: Javier "Gunny" Diaz, Green Monsters Shukri Saleh, Nomads Ash Samawi, Green Monsters 1: Yazan Barghouti, Slackers Saif Barhoum, Trojans Aaron Bouchane, Trojans Jeff Coupe, Green Monsters Nadim Kayyali, Slackers Larry Martin, Hit Squad 0: Omar Massarweh, Nomads Tiny "Yeah, I'll Be There" Saleh, 4U2NV Honorable Mention: We haven't had a woman hit one out yet, but Green Monsters' Brooke Sartawi has come closer than anyone else, falling only about 15 feet short in the Week 3 game against the Nomads. With Zaki Ibrahim playing left field on the 150' arc, Brooke sailed one roughly 130' over his shocked head, a 280' single-bouncer to the left-field fence. In retaliation for my wife's attack on him with her bat, Zaki had his wife, Ghadeer, attack me with her cell phone. (Note: Brooke does have three inside-the-park homers this season, all of them screamers.) Hopefully I don't have to sleep on the couch again. ;)

Ketchup

Catching up on all the results from the last three game days... WEEK 8 (Feb. 22, 2008): Slackers 47, 4U2NV 7 Nomads 19, Hit Squad 8 Green Monsters 31, Trojans 16 WEEK 6 (Feb 8 & 9, 2008): Nomads 32, 4U2NV 14 Trojans 7, Hit Squad 1 Green Monsters 19, Slackers 15 WEEK 5 (Feb 8 & 9, 2008): Nomads 23, Trojans 20 Slackers 29, Hit Squad 28 Green Monsters 24, 4U2NV 9 Week 7 will be played as part of a Friday/Saturday double-header this weekend, along with Week 9's games. Your captains were given the details on when each team plays. The schedule will be updated and posted as soon as we sort out the umping assignments.

Rainout = Naughty Time

The games of Friday, February 15, have been postponed due to rain (and mud). Next week's games will be played as scheduled on February 22, and we'll make up the rained out games later this month. Next Games, Friday, Feb 22: 10:00 AM: Slackers @ 4U2NV (Umped by Hit Squad) 11:30 AM: Nomads @ Hit Squad (Umped by Monsters + 4U2NV) 1:00 PM: Green Monsters @ Trojans (Umped by Nomads) Get naughty with your sweetheart today. Sleep it off tomorrow.

Week 5.5: A Legend Is Born

History was made today by Hit Squad's Mailyn Magpanty when she became Amman Softball League's first ever female pitcher. She didn't just pitch, either. Mailyn only gave up seven runs in a complete game, had four strikeouts, two unassisted putouts and, as usual, did well with the bat. Hit Squad couldn't get the win for her, but we are all very proud of the way Mailyn played today. We'll have some video featuring a couple of those strikeouts very soon. Welcome to Legend Status, Mailyn! The full results from Friday, Feb. 8 (Details to follow soon): Nomads 32, 4U2NV 14 Nomads 23, Trojans 20 Trojans 7, Hit Squad 1

Shbotmahlorbot: Weeks 5 & 6 Preview

Before the previews, please heed this bit of advice: Stop cursing, yelling and arguing. It's been getting progressively worse, and I will personally take the blame for that. But from now on, the response from the League will be just as ugly as the acts of bad sportsmanship. -Mude It's time for some separation. After this weekend, each team will have played the other five teams at least once. All ties will be broken. And with two games each, now is the time to set the tone for the home stretch of the season. Who rules ASL?

If you want the full schedule, constantly updated to match the weather, go to the Downloadables section, below the Standings in the green column.

Friday, Feb. 8: 10:00 AM: 4U2NV @ Nomads (Umps: Trojans) The Nomads got a lot younger lately. Will they bring coloring books and crayons to keep their new members occupied? Envy look to avenge the loss they suffered the last time they went up against the 'Mads, but they'll have to do it without Jiries Azar, who starts a three-game suspension for starting a fight. Last meeting: Nomads 30, 4U2NV 2 (Week 1) Ziggy & Schwa say: The Youth prevail. Nomads by 6. 11:30 AM: Nomads @ Trojans (Umps: Hit Squad) The Trojans look to start a winning streak with some new players. If that happens, we're hearing rumblings that Nomads captain Omar Massarweh will have the "C" ripped off his chest by Zaki "Crank Yanker" Ibrahim, who pulled a first when he argued against a called strike by citing the very rule that made it a strike. Ziggy & Schwa say: What does that "C" stand for, Rofelio? Trojans by 1. 1:00 PM: Trojans @ Hit Squad (Umps: Nomads) A tough double-header for the kids from Troy, but we hear they have some "builders" coming in. Could the Trojan Horse's historical role get reversed and help them win? It all depends on which Hit Squad shows up -- the Hittin' one or the Sittin' one. Last meeting: Hit Squad 19, Trojans 14 (7 innings, Week 1) Ziggy & Schwa say: We smell an upset. Trojans by 2. Saturday, Feb. 9: 10:00 AM: Hit Squad @ Slackers (Umps: Green Monsters) Hit Squad is coming off a stirring comeback against the Nomads, while the Slackers just had home run hitter Yazan Barghouti suspended for one game for swinging his handbag at a player who who threw three punches from 40 centimeters away and didn't land any. Before you think there might be misbehavin' in this game, look who's umping. Ziggy & Schwa say: Curse once and we'll snack on your entrails. Hit Squad by 3. 11:30 AM: Slackers @ Green Monsters (Umps: 4U2NV) A couple of teams fancy themselves the rivals of the Green Monsters, but there is no more heated derby than when the Green & Orange collide. Just ask Northern Ireland. Or Ash Samawi, who goes up against friends and family with "Ex-Slacker" across the back of his Monsters jersey. Even Ash's lovely wife, fellow ex-Slacker and current Monster Abeer Kayali, still hates the Green so much, she hasn't even shown up for a game yet. Fact: The last team (still playing) to have beaten the Monsters? Slackers, back in July, 2006. Last meeting: Green Monsters 33, Slackers 11 (Week 1) Ziggy & Schwa say: Over/Under on Walid Abu Hassan + Rocky Abu Shaar outbursts: 2. 1:00 PM: Green Monsters @ 4U2NV (Umps: Slackers) Research just in has confirmed that 4U2NV is the first ASL team to have a fancy design in the fabric of their team jerseys. I'm not saying it makes them look soft. I'm saying I envy it. Harar Mismar talked some smack about his Envy team taking the Monsters to the wood shed. Let's hope he and Hussam Arafah say some extra prayers this week. Ziggy & Schwa say: Dirty Water, baby. Green Monsters by 6.

Don't Look to Al Gore--Look to Al Ghor

The pre-dawn raid began at about 2:00 AM

AMMAN (Kurret Al-Qaeda Press Release) - This Friday's games are postponed due to a Zionist conspiracy which began in the Jordan Valley with supersecret Israeli flies infesting Jordan's peace-loving manure mounds and sinks to a new historical low with today's brazen snow attack.

The odd weather pattern seen in Jordan over the past few years can be explained not by scientific hypothesis and research, but by blaming our neighbors and leaving the rest in God's hands. I call on all my Arab and Muslim brothers and sisters to confront this assault on our innocence with heavy boots, strong shovels and long underwear. Gather your heaps and let us create the Mother of All Snowballs. Our day of retaliation is nigh!

Somehow, some way, you just know that the Americans are behind all this. Probably financing.

The attack intensified as daylight broke and the snowflakes could better see their targets

Update: The revised schedule is now in its own post (the next newest post after this one).

Chicks Dig Long Balls (Not Short Tempers)

WEEK 4 RECAP

After four (FOUR!) homers were hit today, it is with great pride that ASL posts the home run leaderboard*:

2: Javier "Gunny" Diaz (Green Monsters)
1: Larry Martin (Hit Squad), Saif Barhoum (Trojans), Yazan Barghouti (Slackers)
0: Shukri Saleh (Nomads); tied with approximately 100 others, including Omar Massarweh

*Only out-of-the-park home runs count, not inside-the-park ones.

Game 1:
Hit Squad 12, Nomads 10

Another heartbreaker for the Nomads, who took a 9-4 lead into the bottom of the 5th inning. Hit Squad stormed back with 8 runs in the home half and held on for the win. The result was upheld by the League despite Hit Squadder Daniel Rubenstein accusing the Commish of being on the juice. (It's more like fruit juice...out of a sippy cup--with a side of deep-fried chocolate.)

Game 2:
Green Monsters 20, Trojans 8

Monster Javier Diaz and Trojan Saif Barhoum put on their own private home run derby, with Gunny edging out Saif, 2-1. All three homers were way out of the park. Green Monsters extend their lead over the rest of the league, but the never-say-die Trojans are due for a turnaround very soon.

Game 3:
Slackers 35, 4U2NV 3

Thanks to the Trojans' Maher "Don Juan" Abu Arja and Mohammed "Barry White" Zalatimo for umping the game and helping to contain the fight that broke out. We won't name either player involved just yet, but aside from being ejected, suspensions for each have also been handed down. (Note: This is all true, sadly.) As for the game, will Karma come back and get the Slackers for running up the score? (Hint: It's never failed before.)

Update, Jan. 26, 2:20 PM: I just received a phone call from one of those testy, easily offended, politically correct types, expressing extreme displeasure at my "lack of manners." Apparently, it was the headline of this very Slogs post that sent the caller into a tizzy-tantrum. The caller didn't even have the courtesy to say "goodbye," opting instead to just hang up on me. (Speakin' about manners, huh?) It sounded more like a lame practical joke/crank call gone unfunny. Anyway, as you can see, I've edited for content and clarity.

Here's the Nike commercial, which the headline plays on...



Baby chickens (chicks) + a record four home runs hit in one day (long balls) + our first ever fight (short tempers) = Welcome to the Slogs, Sensitive. (Feel better now?)