"Get it on. Gotta get it on. No choice but to get it on."
- Adam Carolla
Like a disease in remission, we've come back with rage, killing that false sense of security you felt as you lollygagged away the last ten months of Fridays. The Summer 2009 season of Amman Softball League, our 7th overall, is most definitely on.
What does this mean for you?
Pain, that's what. You're about to get smacked with balls that have the best size and hardness combo this side of bowling. If you like getting smacked with balls, then you've come to the right place. Welcome. We are also rolling out the same stained red carpet to all those who enjoy smacking balls. See how fairness runs in our blood?
We've got Smackers and Slackers and Spitters and Trojans... Botox and JoSox and Nomads and Mo' Nads than any camel-humpin' league in the Middle East. We are here to get some and, dammit, some will be gotten.
That felt good. By the way, the Slogs are now Adult Swim. This place is as full of inside jokes as it is full of fun and informative (don't forget well written!) stuff about the league. Read up on ASL, feel free to comment, and get in on the inside jokes.
The only rule for Adult Swim: Don't pee in my pool.
The deal for this Friday, June 12th:
9:00 AM*: AF11 @ Trojans (Slackers umping)
10:45 AM: Slackers @ JoSox (Trojans umping)
12:30 PM: Noobz @ Nomads (JoSox umping)
*That's right, Nine Ay Em. Get over it...or just stay awake from the night before.
RULES CHANGES:
1. No more surgical strike. It was dumb.
2. Games are now 7 innings.
3. Infielders positioned behind the basepaths for all batters.
4. Designated Hitter option added.
5. Miss an umping assignment, your team loses a full inning of at-bats.
6. Bring booze into the park, you're ejected & suspended.
7. READ THE RULES! (Note: This is not a rule change.)
Maybe I'll have more on the league on Thursday. Maybe I'll decide to do something else instead. Like count the number of hypocrites who pretend to be religious but have no problem waking up entire neighborhoods with their horn-honking, wife-beating and escaped-from-the-zoo children. Softball was a venting mechanism, for all of us. You getting that yet?
One word for all the waiters in Jordan:
DEODORANT.
Two words for getting Jordan out of debt:
TRAFFIC PARKING TICKETS.
Three words for Le Freak:
NEED A LIGHT?
Four words for Jeff's uncle:
YOUR NEPHEW LIKES BOYS.
Five words for all you newcomers:
WELCOME TO AMMAN SOFTBALL LEAGUE.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
We're Back
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12 comments:
Is rule number 6 up for debate?
-Aaron
Where ya at Zaki? Still forming the No Nads?
I don't need a name...44 will suffice won't it?
Hugh "Butt Rot" Jass
(My parents named me Kevin though)
Aaron...Here's what you have to do to repeal Amendment 6:
1. Convince Little League, where children play and families come to enjoy the good sportsmanship for which Jordan is famous (/s), to allow alcohol in its complex.
2. Secure and pay for a liquor license.
3. Put it up to a captain's vote.
Unfortunately, two out of those three are impossibilities. But the punishments are legit and serious, and ALLA will have emissaries watching us.
What's the solution? Knock a couple back before getting there. (I recommend drinking and driving, but only if you're using your cell phone at the same time, preferably to send texts.) As long as you can hold your booze and not act like a jackass (looking in the general direction of Bezzig & Lezzig), it won't be an issue.
Bring it baby, this year the Nomads will show everyone how the game is played... We are ready for the challenge.. See you in the Finals....NOMADS
The ritual of reigniting our blogs has to also come with the first reply from a Nomad. I'll spare the predictions for the results like last summer season since we haven't even started yet. Can't stop me from foreseeing a few things though
...Maher's theatrical dives that couldn't look better even if they were choreographed
...Massarweh's "moments" at SS (I won't go into details) ...decibel record breaking shouting coming from the Slackers dugout ...B&L cheerleading and smack talk from the stands
...Trouble's famous cupcakes every now and then (for those of you who don't know, trouble is my wife Ghadeer, Gader, Gator, and whatever else you guys call her)
...Nomad's rage that results in the shaking of the dugout fence that comes along with Sharaiha's chanting of traditional Jordanian songs
...I could keep going but I think I'll just leave the rest to everybody's imagination and for the action to emerge as each Friday comes. Looking forward to seeing
everybody out there. Bring your sportsmanship with you, your adrenaline, rage, mid-game meditation methods, and whatever else floats your boat out there because, like Mude said, WE'VE GOTTA GET IT ON!
Z
Nomads Forever
There goes Zaki again, talking about his wife's cupcakes. Have some decency and keep that stuff private, man.
Hot Pants: It's perfect that you said "See you in the Finals," as if you're talking to everyone else but your own team. It must be reassuring to know your place in the league. To know that you will, in fact, be watching from the stands. Again.
What's a true champ say?
"You'll take our picture with the trophy. Again."
Hey, I finally read the rules - thank you, thank you. Rule 6 could cause problems for Bezzig but hey, we're at the top of the standings for now! We act like jackasses sober - give us a break, we self-medicate to calm down.
Maher, no auditioning for position of crash-test dummy this year!
And I'm going on record - Bezzig has the best catcher in the league.
Sweetness, bring the donuts.
Chad
heard you guys got lucky that i was absent...
HEad you guys got lucky... or were smart enough to schedule your game against us while i was still out of town...
Shame on you mude
Smash...That hurts, man. I only found out this morning at 9 AM (from Bargo) that you pussed out on your team for our game. He had told me on Wednesday that you guys have 21 players on your roster!
The Slackers batted 32 for 50 against us. Wow. They played a great game & it was a lot of fun. Why don't you continue badmouthing your own team and tell us which of your teammates you would have outperformed today? ;)
You gonna teach them all you learned about winning the Big One, Ash?
You're Welcome,
#44
Welcome back, oh man, you guys are starting Adult Swim early, what is it going to be like at the end of the summer. @@
So shall we bring a bunch of families to watch to keep everyone is semi-line? How can I sign on to be an ALLA emissary? ;)
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