Change You Can Be Leavin'

As promised, changes have been made to the schedule for weeks 8 & 9. Also, effective immediately, the position of co-captain is eliminated. You can do whatever you like within your own teams, but for the purposes of communication with the commish and discussions with the umpires, the Captain and only the Captain is the Dude. This is an issue of maturity and experience in league business. Some of the co-captains are simply not cut out for it yet. Finally, the Comments Section of the Slogs would like to extend an official welcome to all the hypocrites, idiots, whiners and jackasses. Welcome. I could blacklist those morons or instantly delete every comment they make, good or bad. But then a small part of them would die, and it's not time for the murders I have planned. Not just yet. Keep shooting yourselves in the foot guys. And stay classy, as always. Then again, maybe I'll randomly delete some of their comments, just to mess with them. Yeah. That's it. Friday, July 24 (Week 7): Camels 8 Canardlys 16 JoSox 35 Canardlys 7 Nomads 7 Slackers 14 Friday, July 31 (Week 8): 9:00 AM Slackers @ Camels Umps: 3 Nomads Note: This is a six-inning game and will begin with the top of the 2nd. 10:45 AM Nomads @ Camels Umps: 3 JoSox 12:30 PM Nomads @ JoSox Umps: 3 Camels Friday, August 7 (Week 9): 9:00 AM Canardlys @ Nomads Umps: 3 JoSox 10:45 AM JoSox @ Slackers Umps: 3 Canardlys 12:30 PM Camels @ JoSox Umps: 3 Slackers (Filling for Nomads) Please note: Nothing in this post is up for debate, discussion, vote or poll.

Chicks Dig Long Balls (Not Short Tempers)

WEEK 4 RECAP

After four (FOUR!) homers were hit today, it is with great pride that ASL posts the home run leaderboard*:

2: Javier "Gunny" Diaz (Green Monsters)
1: Larry Martin (Hit Squad), Saif Barhoum (Trojans), Yazan Barghouti (Slackers)
0: Shukri Saleh (Nomads); tied with approximately 100 others, including Omar Massarweh

*Only out-of-the-park home runs count, not inside-the-park ones.

Game 1:
Hit Squad 12, Nomads 10

Another heartbreaker for the Nomads, who took a 9-4 lead into the bottom of the 5th inning. Hit Squad stormed back with 8 runs in the home half and held on for the win. The result was upheld by the League despite Hit Squadder Daniel Rubenstein accusing the Commish of being on the juice. (It's more like fruit juice...out of a sippy cup--with a side of deep-fried chocolate.)

Game 2:
Green Monsters 20, Trojans 8

Monster Javier Diaz and Trojan Saif Barhoum put on their own private home run derby, with Gunny edging out Saif, 2-1. All three homers were way out of the park. Green Monsters extend their lead over the rest of the league, but the never-say-die Trojans are due for a turnaround very soon.

Game 3:
Slackers 35, 4U2NV 3

Thanks to the Trojans' Maher "Don Juan" Abu Arja and Mohammed "Barry White" Zalatimo for umping the game and helping to contain the fight that broke out. We won't name either player involved just yet, but aside from being ejected, suspensions for each have also been handed down. (Note: This is all true, sadly.) As for the game, will Karma come back and get the Slackers for running up the score? (Hint: It's never failed before.)

Update, Jan. 26, 2:20 PM: I just received a phone call from one of those testy, easily offended, politically correct types, expressing extreme displeasure at my "lack of manners." Apparently, it was the headline of this very Slogs post that sent the caller into a tizzy-tantrum. The caller didn't even have the courtesy to say "goodbye," opting instead to just hang up on me. (Speakin' about manners, huh?) It sounded more like a lame practical joke/crank call gone unfunny. Anyway, as you can see, I've edited for content and clarity.

Here's the Nike commercial, which the headline plays on...



Baby chickens (chicks) + a record four home runs hit in one day (long balls) + our first ever fight (short tempers) = Welcome to the Slogs, Sensitive. (Feel better now?)

Easy Money: Vegas Fe-Lines Love Week Six

Ziggy and Schwa take a nap after making their picks.

Slackers at Bling Bling
Time: 9:00 AM
Temp: 80°F/27°C
Wind: From WSW, 7 mph/11 km
Umps: Nomads

Ziggy: I'd love to see Blingity get on the plus side, but I'm betting against them.
Schwa: Where's my &^$%!&# beef, you @#^*!@* Slackers? (Maher needs a chick!)

Beats at Nomads
Time: 10:30 AM
Temp: 84°F/29°C
Wind: From WSW, 9 mph/14 km
Umps: Slackers

Ziggy: I have a good feeling about the Beats, now that they've tasted victory.
Schwa: I had that feeling, too. But it's buried in litter now. Never go against the 'Mads.

Sluggos at Eagles
Time: Noon
Temp: 87°F/31°C
Wind: From WSW, 10 mph/16 km
Umps: Stars

Ziggy: If the Sluggos can field a team, they'll win. Early money is on the Eagles.
Schwa: Win it for Orrince!

Stars at Eagles
Time: 1:30 PM
Temp: 89°F/32°C
Wind: From WSW, 12 mph/19 km
Umps: Traitors

Ziggy: The Stars Vandals will not avenge that humiliating defeat from Week 3.
Schwa: They would have to launch a thousand crusades to get any satisfaction after that.

Traitors at Stars
Time: 3:00 PM
Temp: 90°F/32°C
Wind: From W, 13 mph/21 km
Umps: Eagles

Ziggy: Should we execute that 7afartali who vandalized the dugout, or just torture him?
Schwa: Both. And let's eat his gizzard, too.

You should listen to the winds.

Stars Bring The Filth, Lose to Sluggos

The Stars lost to the Sluggos last Friday. It was Orrince's last game, and it was another blowout. There's your recap. Now on to more interesting developments.

That's nice. We're all very proud of you.

That one would lay a false claim to the monarchy in this country is a discussion for some other time. Let's stick to the act itself:

Vandalizing Amman Little League Association's complex is downright disgusting. You live in this country. Please don't bring more filth into it. ALLA offers sports for kids (and now adults) at very reasonable prices. Please don't bring your filth into its grounds. Khaled, the ALLA guard, does not get paid to clean up after you. Please don't bring your filth to him.

I have a recommendation: Get that cleaned up and looking like it was never there.

For the rest of the recaps from Friday the 13th's games, clickity here.