Tater Tots

Congratulations to Javier "Gunny" Diaz and Shukri "Freak" Saleh, who share the Winter 2008 Home Run crown. Both bashers fell one shy of tying former Green Monster Mike Moore for the record, which Mike set in Winter 2007. (He hit his five blasts in an 8-game season, and we've since gone to 10.) The 24 home runs that the 12 guys combined for is easily a record for one season. Smashed the old total by so much, it's not even worth mentioning. Testing for steroids, HGH, and spiked mansaf will be implemented next season. Here's your final tally: 4: Javier "Gunny" Diaz, Green Monsters Shukri "Freak" Saleh, Nomads 3: Aaron Bouchane, Trojans Ash Samawi, Green Monsters 2: Saif Barhoum, Trojans Brent Hill, Hit Squad 1: Yazan Barghouti, Slackers Jeff Coupe, Green Monsters Zaki Ibrahim, Nomads Nadim Kayyali, Slackers Larry Martin, Hit Squad Mark McPherson, Hit Squad Player Notes: Green Monsters' Brooke Sartawi led all women with five inside-the-park home runs. Her teammate Kevin Rowlson led the league in homers allowed with, like, sixty. The Trojans' Saif Barhoum joined Mark McPherson as the only players in ASL history to hit Grand Slams. (Mark did it in Winter 2007 for the Beats.) Do you remember when Larry Martin led the league in homers this season? He did, and for quite a long time. 4U2NV's Jafar Dabbas and Omar Abu Abdelsamad each missed hitting one out by less than five feet during Week 10. Ash Samawi out-homered his former team, 3-2. There is no effective way to pitch around Aaron Bouchane and Brent Hill; they both can hit anything. Cheers to Nadim Kayyali for representing the Little Guys. ASL's first champs, Glock Therapy (Summer 2005) did not have one home run all that season. The last remaining player from that team is Hit Squad's Chris Hattayer, who is due for one this season. Random Notes: Tournament stats, including homers, are separate, just like they are in every sport ... Green Monsters led the league in team home runs with 8 ... Only one team did not have at least one home run hitter (4U2NV), but only one team beat the Green Monsters (4U2NV) ... Five of the top six sluggers had multi-homer days ... Finally, FYI: CLICKITY (Clip #1 from the "As Seen on the Broadcast" section on the right. Watch for the second guy they catch.)

Taters

How about a record nine home runs in one day? That's what we had on Friday, February 22, 2008. Welcome back, Freak. Nomads' Shukri Saleh responded to the challenge and put himself in a tie for the home run chase...in three at-bats. Green Monster Ash Samawi became the first player to homer for two different teams during the same season...and he did it on the same day. (One for his team and one for Hit Squad.) His teammate Javier "Gunny" Diaz kept up with a bomb of his own. Yet another Monster, Jeff Coupe, sent one into orbit--just 'cuz it looked like it'd be enjoyable. Who the heck does Nadim Kayyali think he is? The Slacker went yard in the morning game, which means you should be on the lookout for beasts out of the sea and earth. And don't forget about the talking trees. The Trojans have a beast of their own in Aaron Bouchane. The rookie absolutely crushed a meatball into the lot behind left field. Now can someone please explain why Aaron was batting seventh? As always, only "real" homers count. The record for a total season (including the tourney) is 6, by Shukri Saleh (Nomads, Summer 2007). The record for a regular season tally is 5, by Mike Moore (Green Monsters, Winter 2007). Here's the way the Home Run Race looks through Feb. 22: 3: Javier "Gunny" Diaz, Green Monsters Shukri Saleh, Nomads Ash Samawi, Green Monsters 1: Yazan Barghouti, Slackers Saif Barhoum, Trojans Aaron Bouchane, Trojans Jeff Coupe, Green Monsters Nadim Kayyali, Slackers Larry Martin, Hit Squad 0: Omar Massarweh, Nomads Tiny "Yeah, I'll Be There" Saleh, 4U2NV Honorable Mention: We haven't had a woman hit one out yet, but Green Monsters' Brooke Sartawi has come closer than anyone else, falling only about 15 feet short in the Week 3 game against the Nomads. With Zaki Ibrahim playing left field on the 150' arc, Brooke sailed one roughly 130' over his shocked head, a 280' single-bouncer to the left-field fence. In retaliation for my wife's attack on him with her bat, Zaki had his wife, Ghadeer, attack me with her cell phone. (Note: Brooke does have three inside-the-park homers this season, all of them screamers.) Hopefully I don't have to sleep on the couch again. ;)

Chicks Dig Long Balls (Not Short Tempers)

WEEK 4 RECAP

After four (FOUR!) homers were hit today, it is with great pride that ASL posts the home run leaderboard*:

2: Javier "Gunny" Diaz (Green Monsters)
1: Larry Martin (Hit Squad), Saif Barhoum (Trojans), Yazan Barghouti (Slackers)
0: Shukri Saleh (Nomads); tied with approximately 100 others, including Omar Massarweh

*Only out-of-the-park home runs count, not inside-the-park ones.

Game 1:
Hit Squad 12, Nomads 10

Another heartbreaker for the Nomads, who took a 9-4 lead into the bottom of the 5th inning. Hit Squad stormed back with 8 runs in the home half and held on for the win. The result was upheld by the League despite Hit Squadder Daniel Rubenstein accusing the Commish of being on the juice. (It's more like fruit juice...out of a sippy cup--with a side of deep-fried chocolate.)

Game 2:
Green Monsters 20, Trojans 8

Monster Javier Diaz and Trojan Saif Barhoum put on their own private home run derby, with Gunny edging out Saif, 2-1. All three homers were way out of the park. Green Monsters extend their lead over the rest of the league, but the never-say-die Trojans are due for a turnaround very soon.

Game 3:
Slackers 35, 4U2NV 3

Thanks to the Trojans' Maher "Don Juan" Abu Arja and Mohammed "Barry White" Zalatimo for umping the game and helping to contain the fight that broke out. We won't name either player involved just yet, but aside from being ejected, suspensions for each have also been handed down. (Note: This is all true, sadly.) As for the game, will Karma come back and get the Slackers for running up the score? (Hint: It's never failed before.)

Update, Jan. 26, 2:20 PM: I just received a phone call from one of those testy, easily offended, politically correct types, expressing extreme displeasure at my "lack of manners." Apparently, it was the headline of this very Slogs post that sent the caller into a tizzy-tantrum. The caller didn't even have the courtesy to say "goodbye," opting instead to just hang up on me. (Speakin' about manners, huh?) It sounded more like a lame practical joke/crank call gone unfunny. Anyway, as you can see, I've edited for content and clarity.

Here's the Nike commercial, which the headline plays on...



Baby chickens (chicks) + a record four home runs hit in one day (long balls) + our first ever fight (short tempers) = Welcome to the Slogs, Sensitive. (Feel better now?)

Umm…Somebody wanna go get that ball?

In his first game back with the Beats, Javier “Gunny” Diaz went Quadrangular. And it wasn’t one of those cheap, single-and-advance-to-home-on-errors home runs, either.

No, it was a Roy Hobbsian light-buster that forced ASL to tear away a bunch of old ladies from their sewing machines. They kindly laid out all of their tape measures end to end to give us a distance of 330 feet. That’s the longest in ASL history.

Ball Go Far

Eiad Zoubi, outfielder for the Traitors, didn’t even bother putting out his cigarette* to give chase.

Your footnote: Kevin “Orange Shoelius” Rowlson, victimized pitcher. At least his team won the game. Traitors 21, Beats 12.

* With Eiad as our inspiration, we proudly announce Argilahs in the Outfield Café. If you’d like some coffee, tea or ice-cold beverage to go with your smokes while playing the outfield, just give us a holler. And of course, argilahs come in a variety of flavors. Note: An argilah is a shishah, or hubbly bubbly, or (tobacco) hookah.