Don't Look to Al Gore--Look to Al Ghor

The pre-dawn raid began at about 2:00 AM

AMMAN (Kurret Al-Qaeda Press Release) - This Friday's games are postponed due to a Zionist conspiracy which began in the Jordan Valley with supersecret Israeli flies infesting Jordan's peace-loving manure mounds and sinks to a new historical low with today's brazen snow attack.

The odd weather pattern seen in Jordan over the past few years can be explained not by scientific hypothesis and research, but by blaming our neighbors and leaving the rest in God's hands. I call on all my Arab and Muslim brothers and sisters to confront this assault on our innocence with heavy boots, strong shovels and long underwear. Gather your heaps and let us create the Mother of All Snowballs. Our day of retaliation is nigh!

Somehow, some way, you just know that the Americans are behind all this. Probably financing.

The attack intensified as daylight broke and the snowflakes could better see their targets

Update: The revised schedule is now in its own post (the next newest post after this one).

Chicks Dig Long Balls (Not Short Tempers)

WEEK 4 RECAP

After four (FOUR!) homers were hit today, it is with great pride that ASL posts the home run leaderboard*:

2: Javier "Gunny" Diaz (Green Monsters)
1: Larry Martin (Hit Squad), Saif Barhoum (Trojans), Yazan Barghouti (Slackers)
0: Shukri Saleh (Nomads); tied with approximately 100 others, including Omar Massarweh

*Only out-of-the-park home runs count, not inside-the-park ones.

Game 1:
Hit Squad 12, Nomads 10

Another heartbreaker for the Nomads, who took a 9-4 lead into the bottom of the 5th inning. Hit Squad stormed back with 8 runs in the home half and held on for the win. The result was upheld by the League despite Hit Squadder Daniel Rubenstein accusing the Commish of being on the juice. (It's more like fruit juice...out of a sippy cup--with a side of deep-fried chocolate.)

Game 2:
Green Monsters 20, Trojans 8

Monster Javier Diaz and Trojan Saif Barhoum put on their own private home run derby, with Gunny edging out Saif, 2-1. All three homers were way out of the park. Green Monsters extend their lead over the rest of the league, but the never-say-die Trojans are due for a turnaround very soon.

Game 3:
Slackers 35, 4U2NV 3

Thanks to the Trojans' Maher "Don Juan" Abu Arja and Mohammed "Barry White" Zalatimo for umping the game and helping to contain the fight that broke out. We won't name either player involved just yet, but aside from being ejected, suspensions for each have also been handed down. (Note: This is all true, sadly.) As for the game, will Karma come back and get the Slackers for running up the score? (Hint: It's never failed before.)

Update, Jan. 26, 2:20 PM: I just received a phone call from one of those testy, easily offended, politically correct types, expressing extreme displeasure at my "lack of manners." Apparently, it was the headline of this very Slogs post that sent the caller into a tizzy-tantrum. The caller didn't even have the courtesy to say "goodbye," opting instead to just hang up on me. (Speakin' about manners, huh?) It sounded more like a lame practical joke/crank call gone unfunny. Anyway, as you can see, I've edited for content and clarity.

Here's the Nike commercial, which the headline plays on...



Baby chickens (chicks) + a record four home runs hit in one day (long balls) + our first ever fight (short tempers) = Welcome to the Slogs, Sensitive. (Feel better now?)

Week 4 Preview: Is That A Toe?

Khaled Rihani's injured big toe. (VOTE in the upper right of this page!)

In case you haven't heard, we're on for tomorrow's games.

Friday, January 25, 2008

Game 1 - 10:00 AM:
Nomads @ Hit Squad
(Umped by 2 Green Monsters)

The Nomads are coming off a tough loss, while Hit Squad are coming off a...long weekend. Playing without Shukri Saleh and Saad Kurdi, the Nomads will try to get back on track against a well-rested Hit Squad who will bring the power of their new uniforms and the return of captains Chris Hattayer and Mark McPherson.

Ziggy & Schwa's Official Line: Assassins are sexy. Hit Squad by 3.

Game 2 - 11:30 AM:
Trojans @ Green Monsters
(Umped by 2 Slackers)

Both teams have been living dangerously this season, with the Monsters having similar games as the Trojans, but better results. The Greenies have won their last two games by one run each, but the Trojans have lost all three of their games in extra innings. Trojan Maher Abu Arja took it especially hard, so he will have to summon the memory of his favorite romantic lead male character to help his team.

Ziggy & Schwa's Official Line: Who feeds us? Monsters by 4.

Game 3 - 1:30 PM:
4U2NV @ Slackers
(Umped by 2 Trojans)

The regression of the Slackers worries the Slogs. The perennial contenders have fallen on hard times lately, but a gutsy 7-inning win against the Trojans last week might be the boost they've been looking for. 4U2NV are the Cinderella team of the season so far, and new member Joe Roos brings experience and strategy to ASL's NewKids.

Ziggy & Schwa's Official Line: We love 4U2NV (but)...Slackers by 6.

Week 3 Tighty Whitey Recap

Game 1 4U2NV 1, Hit Squad 0 (Forfeit) Game 2 Green Monsters 15, Nomads 14 Game 3 Slackers 17, Trojans 15 (7 innings) Standings after 3 weeks:

1. Green Monsters 3-0
2. Nomads                    2-1
3. 4U2NV                      2-1
4. Hit Squad                1-2
4. Slackers                   1-2
6. Trojans                   0-3

Week 3 Preview: Playing Nice With Our Hosts

WEEK 3, V1.2 - FRIDAY, JANUARY 18th: 11:30 AM: 4U2NV @ Hit Squad (Umps: 2 from Green Monsters) 1:00 PM: Nomads @ Green Monsters (Umps: 2 from Hit Squad) 2:30 PM: Slackers @ Trojans (Umps: 1 Nomad + 1 Green Monster) The slight change to the schedule is due to Little League needing the fields this Friday morning for soccer tournament team tryouts. (I found out about an hour before posting this, but we have a nice relationship with ALLA, so no biggie.) We simply moved the first game to the afternoon, so only two teams are affected. Let's hope Massarweh doesn't imagine a conspiracy theory here...although there probably is one. I'll add some of Ziggy and Schwa's musings on each game a little later. They're still gathering their thoughts.

The Puddle Monster Strikes

Damn puddles. We're pushing this week's games from Friday, January 11th to next Friday, January 18th. Here are the games: WEEK 3 - FRIDAY, JANUARY 18th: 10:00 AM: Slackers @ Trojans (Umps: 2 from 4U2NV) 11:30 AM: 4U2NV @ Hit Squad (Umps: 2 from Slackers*) 1:00 PM: Nomads @ Green Monsters (Umps: 2 from Hit Squad) * The Slackers are umping the 11:30 AM game in exchange for the Nomads' Week 2 favor. The rest of the schedule will be published after consulting with the captains.