The results from Week 8: Slackers 26 Camels 7 Nomads 7 Camels 20 Nomads 4 JoSox 24 Week 9's schedule... Friday, August 7: 9:00 AM Canardlys @ Nomads Umps: 3 JoSox 10:45 AM JoSox @ Slackers Umps: 3 Canardlys 12:30 PM Camels @ JoSox Umps: 3 Slackers (Filling for Nomads) Then it's the Tourney... Friday, August 14: 8:45 AM (Opening Round) #5 Nomads @ #4 Seed 10:30 AM (Semifinal 1) #3 Seed @ #2 Seed 12:15 PM (Semifinal 2) Winner of #5/#4 @ #1 Seed 2:15 PM (Championship) Semifinals winners play each other. The higher seed is the home team.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Nomads First To, Um, Clinch
Posted by Mude Sartawi at 9:20 AM 6 comments
Labels: Diesel Fume Ponderings, Game Recaps, Schedule, Tournament
Monday, July 27, 2009
Change You Can Be Leavin'
As promised, changes have been made to the schedule for weeks 8 & 9. Also, effective immediately, the position of co-captain is eliminated. You can do whatever you like within your own teams, but for the purposes of communication with the commish and discussions with the umpires, the Captain and only the Captain is the Dude. This is an issue of maturity and experience in league business. Some of the co-captains are simply not cut out for it yet. Finally, the Comments Section of the Slogs would like to extend an official welcome to all the hypocrites, idiots, whiners and jackasses. Welcome. I could blacklist those morons or instantly delete every comment they make, good or bad. But then a small part of them would die, and it's not time for the murders I have planned. Not just yet. Keep shooting yourselves in the foot guys. And stay classy, as always. Then again, maybe I'll randomly delete some of their comments, just to mess with them. Yeah. That's it. Friday, July 24 (Week 7): Camels 8 Canardlys 16 JoSox 35 Canardlys 7 Nomads 7 Slackers 14 Friday, July 31 (Week 8): 9:00 AM Slackers @ Camels Umps: 3 Nomads Note: This is a six-inning game and will begin with the top of the 2nd. 10:45 AM Nomads @ Camels Umps: 3 JoSox 12:30 PM Nomads @ JoSox Umps: 3 Camels Friday, August 7 (Week 9): 9:00 AM Canardlys @ Nomads Umps: 3 JoSox 10:45 AM JoSox @ Slackers Umps: 3 Canardlys 12:30 PM Camels @ JoSox Umps: 3 Slackers (Filling for Nomads) Please note: Nothing in this post is up for debate, discussion, vote or poll.
Posted by Mude Sartawi at 4:00 PM 46 comments
Labels: 7afartalis, Fatwas, Game Previews, Game Recaps, Schedule
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Week 7: The Real Monkeyfest
--LATE UPDATE (The captains already know this): 9:00 AM Camels @ Canardlys The Camels will take an automatic 3 outs in the top of the 1st inning (missed umping assignment) Umps: 3 JoSox 10:45 AM JoSox @ Canardlys The JoSox will take an automatic 3 outs in the top of the 1st inning (missed umping assignment) Umps: 3 Slackers 12:30 PM Nomads @ Slackers Umps: 3 Canardlys (Note the change) --END UPDATE-- Before we get to the week's games, there will be a party...and you're (probably/maybe) invited. The Marine House at the US Embassy is having "Guest Bartender Night" and they've opened their doors to Amman Softball League. Free admission, cheap drinks. Info was emailed to each team. If you're a player and didn't get it, see your captain. Please don't call, text, or email me about this. It is not my gig. I have no more info than what's in that email. I'm just passing it along. (NOTE: Yes, you certainly CAN bring a non-ASL date. Just follow the instructions in the email.) Speakin' about cheap drinks. Not in cans, bottles, jugs, kegs, travel mugs or brown paper bags. Not in anything at all. Don't bring alcohol to the ALLA Complex. ALCOHOL IS NOT ALLOWED ON LITTLE LEAGUE GROUNDS. July 24 9:00 AM Camels @ Canardlys Umps: 3 JoSox
From Summer 2007, Bling Bling (Top center: Jawad, Saif & Maher; top right: Laith)
Both teams have their origins in 2007's disastrous Bling Bling team, which split into 4U2NV and the Trojans. 4u2NV became Bezzig & Lezzig, then Canardlys. The Trojans are now the Camels. There was an interesting unilateral "bet" made in the comments section. 10:45 AM JoSox @ Canardlys Umps: 3 SlackersMaher searches in the dirt for his defense. A microscope would be helpful.
Speakin' about Maher...he still owes us about 56 pushups. Oh yeah, one more thing... Freak, you out there? 12:30 PM Nomads @ Slackers Umps: 1 JoSox + 2 CanardlysAn unidentified Nomad tried drowning his sorrows, but his sorrows learned to swim.
Jordan Cup? What Jordan Cup? It's beyond the point of plastering the Nomads on milk cartons and issuing Amber Alerts. We're damn near the point of making funeral arrangements. Man up, 'Mads. (Note: The player in the pic may or may not be one of the Nomads captains not named Zaki.) Notes: There may be schedule changes for the final two weeks of the regular season. Please stay tuned. Or don't. As always, I really don't care what you degenerates do. Still time to vote in the walking poll. As of this typing, Laith Barhoum is considered the walking mascot of ASL. Quite an honor.Posted by Mude Sartawi at 11:35 AM 76 comments
Labels: Game Previews, Party
Friday, July 17, 2009
Week 6 Results
Canardlys 8 JoSox 26 JoSox 27 Nomads 4 Slackers 16 Camels 4
Posted by Mude Sartawi at 3:49 PM 13 comments
Labels: Game Recaps
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Diesel Fume Ponderings
Declan Sartawi, representing babies everywhere.
SLOGS WARNING: If you are easily offended...ah, you know the drill. Shukri Saleh is not worried about his sperm count.Slogs Note: The following is an email from Shukri to Mude, modified from a letter Shuk sent to his parents.
First off, I would like to extend my best wishes and congrats to Brooke and Mude on the beautiful addition to their family. I feel I speak on behalf of the league (most of you, at least) and Mr. Jawad, of course, when I say that we are looking forward to getting smashed and inebriated on July 1st, 2010, Declan’s one year birthday! Congratulations. Love, Le Freak. Now, to all other young couples considering taking this big step in life, please reconsider. I prepared this list for my parents, detailing my reasons for not reproducing. 1. Why? Is it supposed to complete me!? My ass. 2. Bad investment. The costs involved in feeding, clothing, and educating the SOB or DOB. Children under 18 are a major financial liability. 3. I have seen too many good parents have their lives ruined because of their “problem child.” 4. Drugs. This can range from having an addict daughter/son, legal fees, legal issues, DUI, vehicular homicide, etc. 5. Raising the child. Having to feed it, bathe it, care for it, provide a loving & nurturing environment (I just tasted my own vomit), advising, guiding, and being a responsible father really seems like too much work and, more importantly, a MAJOR RESPONSIBILITY. 6. Activities like sports events, rehearsals, ballet, piano, Disney World, theme parks. (I’d rather have two root canals and have all my wisdom teeth yanked out again). Wow, is there any time left for my significant other and I? What about “our” activities? Can I really sit through a high school game or a little league season? 7. Birthdays. Mine were fun, but my parents hated it, and for good reason. 8. Family events. Having to do the “Holidays,” taking the children to their grandparents, cousins, and other relatives that come out of nowhere. 9. Education. Parent/teacher conferences, putting them in a good school and keeping up with their school events. I did well in school, but I disliked it. Why put myself through that crap again? 10. Stress. The stress involved with having a child. He goes out to play, she goes skydiving, she goes to the beach, he goes climbing or traveling, etc. I would be concerned and worried about their wellbeing the whole time, when I’d rather be enjoying myself or relaxing. 11. My significant other. Telling her, “Honey, I love you, but don’t love them (the kids).” I’m sure that will not go over very well with her. 12. Golf. I would much rather be golfing than doing the father-son or father-daughter bonding stuff. Yes I can take them out with me, but … no. 13. People say it’s only 18 years that they are with us, then they leave the house. 18 freaking years! That’s like more than a fourth of what I am expecting to live. Is Obama going to bail me out? 14. Religion. If my daughter or son came to me saying they found Jesus, or the words of Mohammed are echoing in their heads, or Moses (never mind…haha), I would lock them in a room and beat the stupidity out of them. The last thing I need is religion in my life. 15. You ever see those parents chasing their kids in the mall, or their child is screaming and kicking in the restaurant, or crying in the bank? Do you really want to be that parent? I have always wanted to walk over to such parents and ask them, “Do you mind if I slap your son and shut him up?” 16. Patience. Raising a child, or just being around him/her, requires patience, which I do not have at all. 17. Sex. What if you want to be loud? What if the kitchen table, sofa, or washing machine are the closest convenient spot? What if we want to invite a third person? I’m just saying, kids get in the way of a healthy sex life. 18. Family name is not a good enough excuse. 19. “This is why we were put on this earth.” Do you also believe in Noah’s Ark? Not good enough. Or, “It will make you happy.” Everyone has his or her definition of that. 20. Divorce. Hey, no marriage is guaranteed. Kids just complicate the divorce.
Poll Results...Bite me.
Slogsville makes the call.
Just for fun, let's look at the standings, using Roman numerals: I. Slackers II. JoSox III. Camels IV. Canardlys V. Nomads So the "V" stands for five, just as the Nomads had intended. OK, that's not exactly what they had in mind. In real life, Roman numerals are used to add a sense of legacy. In marketing, Roman numerals are used to "dress up" inferior products. You be the judge. Speakin' about the Nomads...Former Nomad Ramzey Nassar, in the hospital on game day. Ramzey would've made it to the game, but he insisted on having his temperature taken rectally, and it took the nurse a while to find a big enough thermometer. (Glad it was all OK, Ramzey. Hope this teaches you not to call in sick again. And not to have Zaki snap a pic of you and send it to the Slogs.)
Speakin' about another Nomads loss, here's your Week 6 slate: 9:00 AM: Canardlys @ JoSox Umps: 3 Nomads (Not one, not two, but THREE.) 10:45 AM: JoSox @ Nomads Umps: 2 Camels + 1 Canardly 12:30 PM: Slackers @ Camels Umps: 3 JoSox You're on your own for predictions. Use the comments section...and use your real name. Don't forget to vote in the new poll. Top of the green sidebar. Do it now. Photo Credits: Shukri Saleh, Zaki Ibrahim.Posted by Mude Sartawi at 1:36 PM 17 comments
Labels: Babies, Diesel Fume Ponderings, Game Previews
Friday, July 10, 2009
Week 5 Recap: Outta Monkey References
Posted by Mude Sartawi at 8:22 PM 42 comments
Labels: Bitter Rivalries, Game Recaps, Jordan Cup
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Week 5 Preview: Cloned Ape = Rematch
Posted by Mude Sartawi at 9:13 AM 5 comments
Labels: Bitter Rivalries, Game Previews
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Week 4 Recap: Baby Monkeys!
Posted by Mude Sartawi at 12:00 AM 44 comments
Labels: Babies, Game Recaps