Of all these friends and lovers: Sluggos @ Traitors

Noon (88F/31C)
Umps: Mude & Gary

When the Sluggos look at the Traitors’ Gatorade-inspired uniforms, all they see are the miniscule green details. If you’re new to the league, here’s a history lesson:

In the Winter 2007 Amman Softball League season, there were the Green Monsters and then there were all the other teams. The Monsters steamrolled through the regular season and, after a first-round playoff win against the Beats, into the championship game. Through those nine games, the juggernaut never trailed after a full inning of play. Scores like 29-4, 28-3, 43-5 were as prevalent as the odor of diesel in Abdali.

All smiles before the championship game.

But then came the Sluggos. As the #3 seed, they quickly dispatched the Slackers to set up a showdown with the Monsters, wanting desperately to avenge their two regular-season losses. It looked like the same old story when the undefeated Greenies took a 10-2 lead into the 5th inning. Six more outs, and they could celebrate what had by then seemed to be their birthright.

The Sluggos were having none of it. In the top of the 5th, they scored eight runs, most of them with two outs, fueled by Lori Doutrich and Chris Hattayer’s clutch hitting. Suddenly, the game was tied. The Monsters’ dugout was tense, not having experienced such a feeling since the infamous Miracle On Sand (Part I) game the previous summer. Sluggos co-captain Orrince called it the “Pucker Factor.”

“Let’s put up ten runs and put these guys to bed,” urged someone (or was it everyone?) from the Green Monsters, referring to their turn to bat in the bottom of the 5th. The Sluggos, however, had other ideas, holding ASL’s highest-ever scoring team to just three more runs, and an improbably few 13 through five innings. On average, that total is what the Monsters had scored every five outs. The Sluggos' stifling of their rivals was due to pitcher Bill Steinkampf’s uncanny placement and the prescient positioning of his solid defense.

The Sluggos scored two runs in the top of the 6th and final inning. There was one out, and co-captain YAM stood at third, representing the tying run. Monsters’ pitcher Kevin Rowlson looked to his dugout, holding up one finger, an inquisitive look on his strained face. He wanted to know if they still had the lead, and if it was one run. He looked confident as he delivered the next pitch. Deep fly ball, caught, the tag-up, the throw—not in time. Safe at home! The game was tied.

13-13, bottom of the 6th inning, with the Monsters batting from the top of their order. Kevin Vienneau, normally an on-base machine, popped out to shallow center. The Sluggos were bursting with confidence, and rightly so. Brooke Sartawi (disclosure: my wife; I was the co-captain/coach) patiently drew the one-out walk. Mike Moore, a home run machine, worked a full count and smacked the next pitch to left-center for a double. Brooke, representing the winning run, was held up at third. There was no need to panic, because Bruce Neese, arguably the greatest hitter in ASL’s brief history, was due up.

This was a no-brainer. With first base open, Bill intentionally walked Bruce to set up the double-play—and extra innings. Jeff Coupe, who wore “8” on the back of his jersey to honor Carl Yastrzemski, walked to the plate. Was Yaz’s 1967 Triple Crown season going through his head as he dug in for his turn to be the hero?

Bill’s 2-1 pitch was well short of the plate, but Jeff did not want to even come close to forcing in the championship-winning run on a walk. That’s not how sluggers do it. That’s not how Yaz would have done it, at least not in a baseball fan’s boyhood dreams. So Jeff lunged forward and down for the ball, hitting it off the end of his bat, over the pitcher’s head, out of reach of the second-baseman and towards YAM, in short center.

It was too high for her to reach, too. The ball landed in shallow center field. Brooke jogged home and kept her foot on the plate for an extra second or two, feeling bittersweet that it was all over. Ballgame. Championship. Season.

Kevin, Jeff, Brooke and Eiad Zoubi are former Green Monsters who now wear the white and orange of the Traitors. You may barely notice the green on those jerseys, but the Sluggos know it’s there.

Jeff Coupe and Bruce Neese, with the trophy.

I’ve got blisters on my fingers: Nomads @ Bling Bling

1:30 PM (90F/32C)
Umps: Traitors

Now that my calluses have disintegrated into my keyboard, we get to the final game of the day. Nomads’ captain Omar Massarweh remained strong and silent about the game, while Neal Zureikat was cordial and sportsmanlike on behalf of his Bling.

Yawn.

At least we have the unveiling of Schwa & Ziggy's picks, exclusively for this game:


Ziggy's Pick: Bling Bling

"Ooh, Bling. I can has shiny stuff, pls?"






Schwa's Pick: Nomads

"They're all red. Are they meat? Can I snack on them?"





Aside from the excitement of our cats' picks, there was some breakin' news involving the Nomads that needed fixin' right quick.

When Traitor Kevin Rowlson, the George Steinbrenner of Amman Softball League, expressed interest in acquiring the services of his former teammate, perennial basher and current Nomad Shukri Saleh, the League had to get to the bottom of these nefarious trickerations.

“I shot that birdie down,” replied Omar Massarweh within seconds. “My #10 is staying put.”

Kevin was too busy backpedaling to the shores of his Evil Emirate to comment. He was last seen trying to steal insulin from diabetics so he could trade it in for this darling orange bracelet that would just totally go with his outfit—er, uniform.

NEWS FLASH: We hear from reliable sources that Kevin is asking female members of his team how long they think it would take for his hair to grow out enough for him to wear a scrunchy on the field. UPDATE: We have been able to confirm that the scrunchy in question is more of a “bow thingy,” and that it is, in fact, orange:

And that’s what you get for trying to steal other teams’ players.

On a happy note for the Bling-It-Ons (Oh, it’s been bloughten), they have been bailed out of umpiring duties. Replied an ecstatic Neal, “[We] appreciate not having to ump. We took a lot of heat last game, literally.”

I hadn’t noticed, but then again, I never do.

Still they lead me back to the long, winding posts

You dug deep to get here. Your reward is this week’s trivia question (prize carried over from last week): Name the connection between today’s posts (all five six, including this one) and be very specific. First person to correctly answer in this post’s comments section wins the prize. (Hint: First person who says something about sports will be the first to lose.) Last week’s trivia question: Bases loaded, no outs. The batter hits a grounder to the 1st Baseman, who fields the ball and steps on 1st base (beating the runner), then he throws to the Catcher, who catches the ball and steps on home plate (beating the runner). The catcher then throws the ball the the 3rd Baseman, who tags the runner coming from 2nd base (before the runner reaches 3rd base). What is the result of the play? First to correctly email the correct answer wins a prize. Many came close; some tried to cheat and were disqualified (or deceived). Hardly anyone sent it to the correct email address. Answer: We don’t know, since the play hasn’t ended yet. Nobody called time; the play is live. But good-on-ya’s to those who answered something like 3(u)-2-5, out at 1st & 3rd, safe at home, etc. (Remember, by getting the initial out of this play at 1st, the force was removed, which is why the runner at home is safe.) Update: The obligatory Ash Samawi clarification: One answer per person, per question. Relatives of the typist and those who sleep with him are not eligible.