Week 4 Recap: Baby Monkeys!

Declan Sartawi, Buckeye

Before we get to this week's recaps, let me issue an official denial. There is no truth to the rumor around the league that Brooke & I purposely had our baby early so that she would be back in time for the Tourney. Yes, the Tourney is exactly six weeks away, and that's the recommended recuperation time for new moms, but come on. All of that was tongue in cheek, as are the allegations. I think.

We have a guest doing part of the recaps this week, but first, check out the new poll (in the green sidebar, on the right). On to the week that was...

JoSox 19 20 Camels 22 When the Camels show up with a full squad and play up to their talent, they are as good as any team in the league. It's nice to see them putting it all together. Well done. From the pen of Jeff "Goldilocks" Sillin, co-captain of the Camels: I know that your newborn child provides you a convenient excuse not to include this unfortunate chapter of JoSox history in the Slogs this week. However, if you do find it in your heart to create an entry, here are our notes from the game. Best defense we have ever played, anchored by a solid effort from George Sahyoun at SS, and a spectacular effort from Laith Barhoum at the hot corner (even though he still won't back up a throw for his f-ing life). Mohamed "Z-man" Zalatimo pitched and I don't think he even knows what a walk is. Nobody was hit in the face on our team this week, but I took four balls off the chest. [Mude Note: Does that mean two naked guys sat on Jeff's chest?] If Kevin Rowlson tries to tell you that every ground ball took a candy hop for our defense, tell him that I have the bruises to prove him wrong. At the plate, Aaron Bouchane went 3-5 with a dinger (inside job, the wind was vicious), Laith was 4-5 with another inside the park HR, Tarek Jallad had 4 hits, and yours truly was 5-5 with a triple and a double. Production came throughout the lineup. In a final note, the umps did an admirable job, especially when it came to controlling stupid comments without escalating them. Zaki deserves a nod for that. [Mude Note 2: Too bad he didn't have the required help from his own team. More punishments comin' down.] Canardlys 5 Slackers 18 I hear there was some yelling. Willie & Ash? Jawad? Somehow, the game was played. Slackers continue to roll and take over 1st place. Are they really the team to beat, or is this all the product of the easy part of their schedule and some shorthanded opponents? After all, they did lose to the shorthanded JoSox in Week 1. Time (and a couple of rematches) will tell. Nomads 6 Canardlys 7 Congrats to Canardlys on their first win. It's been a long time coming, and all of the Slogs are elated for your success. Post some stats or your own recap & I'll add it here. Nomads (except Zaki): We're not your maids. Show up & ump your scheduled games like everyone else. It's disgusting... and disrespectful to the rest of the people in the league. Man up. Finally...

To all of my fellow Americans, wherever you may be:

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!

(And to the rest of the Free World: You're Welcome.)

Week 3 Results

Canardlys 9 JoSox 23 Nomads 16 Slackers 38 Slackers 31 Camels 26 25 143 142 runs in three games. Poor home plate. More later...

Week 3 Preview: Party Like A Shaved Ape

9:00 Canardlys @ JoSox (Umped by 3 Slackers) Teammates in partying, foes on the field. A few hours after this game, Canardlys 1st baseman Chad "The Imam" Bowen and the JoSox #1 fan, Lama Saqr, will hold their engagement party. With members of both teams invited, there may be fallout from the game. I'm thinkin' fisticuffs. I'm thinkin' mayhem. Yes, Mr. Milkshake, there will be blood. *** 10:45 Nomads @ Slackers (Umped by 3 JoSox) The Jordan Derby. The teams are set to play three times this season, with the team that wins at least two games having the honor of taking home the brand new prize. The new "trophy" won't be revealed until there's something on the line, which will be their next game. What will be revealed, however, are the Nomads' new uniforms. I'm sworn to secrecy, but I'm telling you, we are going to have a lot of fun with this. *** 12:30 Slackers @ Camels (Umped by 3 Nomads) The Slackers are spreading rumors that the Camels will forfeit this game. We haven't seen that tactic yet, but if you're scared to play a team, like the Slackers quite obviously fear the Camels, then there is a smarter play. Convince the other team that your team won't show up. Then your opponents won't show up, and you'll come out of hiding to claim the forfeit. Is this what you signed up for, Ash? *** "I didn't get to vote" was sent to me by a couple people, so I'm extending the Bash Mude poll (upper right, in the Green). A new poll will be published on Saturday. Trash-talking may now commence. Or not. I really don't care what you degenerates do.