Schedule Update

Friday, August 1: 10:00 AM: Bezzig & Lezzig @ Slackers 11:30 AM: Nomads @ Slackers (Jordan Cup Final) 1:00 PM: Trojans @ Nomads Since this is a bye for the JoSox, we will ump all the games. Friday, August 8: 10:00 AM: Slackers @ JoSox (Umped by B & L) 11:30 AM: Trojans @ JoSox (Umped by B & L) 1:00 PM: Nomads @ Bezzig & Lezzig (Umped by Trojans) The Tournament will be played on Friday, August 15, as scheduled. The All-Star Game will be played on Saturday, August 16. Important for everyone except Bezzig: The Nomads-Slackers game will not count in the standings. This is just an extra game to determine the winner of the Jordan Cup. It will, however, serve as the tiebreaker in case the two teams end up with the same record. If Trojans-Nomads need a tiebreaker, it will be played on Friday, August 8, at 2:30 PM. Any other tiebreaker(s) will be played on Saturday, August 9, if necessary. Note: The captains have had this info since Saturday, July 26. Here's where each team stands with two games to go: 1. Slackers (5-1): If they win their remaining games, they are the #1 Seed. They cannot finish below #3. 2. JoSox (4-2): Can finish from #1 to #4. 3. Trojans (3-3): Can finish from #2 to #4. 4. Nomads (3-3): Can finish from #1 to #4. 5. Bezzig & Lezzig (0-6): Locked into the #5 Seed. (Look at it this way: B&L is the first team to officially clinch a playoff spot.) Note: The order is based on current standings, through Week 5 (Games of July 25).

Load Up On Canned Goods

The End of Days is nearly upon us. It must be.

Nomads 24

JoSox 12

No choke job this time. It was all Nomads, from beginning to end.

The Nomads jumped all over the JoSox, right from the start, building an 11-3 lead after two innings and never looking back. The JoSox dugout exhibited none of the confidence of the teams' earlier meeting, when the Sox put up 16 runs in the 5th inning to steal a comeback win. As such, there was little panic in the 'Mads, as they held a commanding 21-7 lead after five.

Batting cleanup and driving his team's offense, Nomads' centerfielder Zaki Ibrahim went 5-for-5 with 5 runs and 5 RBI. Nice day. From the two-hole, third baseman Khaled Rihani went 4-for-4 with 4 runs and 4 RBI, including a sacrifice fly.

Tamara Hawatmeh (far left) and Ghadeer Ibrahim (2nd from right) went from baking to hitting.

In what turned out to be the game's turning point, the JoSox were hoping to induce a double play and limit the damage caused by the Nomads' 2nd inning barage. With two on and one out, Nomads catcher Tamara Hawatmeh came up clutch with a single, which proved to be just the start of her terrific day: 3-for-4 with a run and 3 RBI. Ghadeer Abujudeh-Ibrahim didn't have quite the same day, but she did her part in the 2nd by getting on base and keeping the rally going.

Nomads shortstop Omar Massarweh went 1-for-5 with 2 RBI, but he did manage to get on base regularly, courtesy of 3 JoSox errors. Massarweh also committed three errors on defense, with a fourth error coming on a little A-Rod-style vocal interference from Sox' Ash Samawi. (Omar requested to have his stats in big games published. Careful what you wish for.)

Bezzig & Lezzig Get Swept, Party On

Trojans 21

Bezzig & Lezzig 2

Bezzig & Lezzig 9

Slackers 22

Let's not dwell on the negatives too much. Yes, B&L were swept by the Trojans and Slackers in their doubleheader. The Spitters could have taken a forfeit by the late-rising Trojans. (Insert joke here about a team named after a condom whose players cannot get up when it matters.) But Bezzig & Lezzig put on their Good Sports t-shirts and allowed their foes an extra 20 minutes to assemble their team.

But you know what? Who cares. Proof is in the pic below...

Bezzig Lezzig lost the day, but won the weekend.

Week 4: Loudmouths Lose

We've talked about Karma around here before.

After one post on these Slogs elicited 80 comments (not including the deleted ones), it appeared that we Sloggers were headed down a dark, dank, dangerous tunnel (Note: Nothing to do with Madonna), the other side of which runs on trash-talking and erotic humor rather than timely hitting and solid defense.

But ultimately, this league runs on Karma.

The blabbering going on within those four-score wit-bombs was basically an ugly threesome. (Note: Imagine the mom from Throw Mama From The Train getting it on with Steve Buscemi and Kathy Bates. There, I just saved you 45 minutes of going through all those comments.) The Nomads started it, Bezzig & Lezzig replied, and the JoSox jumped in. Rinse, repeat.

Ain't no sandwich like a Buscemi sandwich.

Guess which teams lost their following games? Yup. All three teams represented in the insultathon went home losers. Some would argue that they left home losers, too, but that's not what our loved ones keep telling us. (Shame/Disclosure: Three captains were involved, myself included. Cyanide, get in my belly.)

Slackers 21, JoSox 11

Having lost nine straight games to the various teams housing this season's JoSox, the Slackers mainlined iced coffee, snorted foul line chalk, traded some insults amongst each other, put on their Orange mesh, and started hitting.

Scream Leader Walid Abu Hassan went 2-3 with 5 RBI, while Nadim Kayyali and Yazan Barghouti each hit 3-4 with 3 RBI. But the real story was the bottom of the Slackers' order: Laith Abushaar, Tania Jordan, Nada Samawi and Nader Qushair combined to go 10-11 with 10 runs scored. (The girls were a perfect 6 for 6.)

On the JoSox side, Jeff Coupe and Shukri Saleh tried to keep up, with a total of 8-8, 5 runs and 5 RBI. The score was 10-9 after three innings, but the Slack Attack outmuscled the Sox, 11-2, down the stretch.

Since their first season in the league, back in Summer '06, the Slackers have been among the elite, even though they have not won it all. Strictly a family affair, the Orange feature brothers & sisters, husbands & wives, cousins & lifelong friends. They've never recruited or accepted another team's player and always give everyone regular playing time. Ziggy & Schwa have the feeling that Karma has been watching and will soon reward the Slacker Way.

Slackers 21, Nomads 16

After dispatching the JoSox, the Slackers found themselves in the position of playing for first place. Their opponents, the Nomads, were looking to climb from 4th into a tie for 2nd place.

Things appeared to be going the Bedouins' way, as they jumped all over the Slackers to the tune of a 15-4 lead midway through the game. But these are the Nomads, who have been known to blow big leads before--often.

The Slackers remembered who they were playing and put on their patented Orange Crush, finishing the game on a 17-1 (!) tear for a 21-16 triumph, sweeping the toughest double-header any team has faced this summer and confirming that they are the team to beat this season.

Don't believe that last statement? Smoke this: Down the stretch in their two games, the Slackers outscored the JoSox and Nomads by a combined score of 28-3. Twenty-eight to three.

There's a new hammer in town, people, and it's painted Burtuqali. The Nomads, meanwhile, remained in 4th place, while the JoSox dropped to 2nd. Slackers will play Nomads for the rubber game of the Jordan Cup (August 1, will not directly count in the standings) and finish the regular season against the JoSox (August 8).

Trojans 10, Bezzig & Lezzig 9

Searching for their first win of the season, Bezzig & Lezzig found themselves in a tight game with their rivals, the Trojans, who led 3-0 after three innings.

Co-captain Maher Abu Arja took time from pounding the sand with his leg cast and opened up his copy of the ASL rules. Huh, both teams are allowed to hit. And hit they did: 9-3 Bezzig lead midway through the 5th inning.

Trojan co-captain Laith Barhoum then calmly called a timeout and, in a very civil manner, inquired of the league coordinator as to the possibility of there being even a chance that his team might be within the rules if they responded to B&L's offensive outburst. Laith? Offensive outburst? Really?

Given the green light, the Prophos put up four runs in the bottom of the 5th and shut down the Spitters in the top of the 6th inning. Just prior to their final inning turn at bat, the Trojans purchased some carousel tickets. And around they went: Walk, single, walk, single, walk. Two runs in, game tied at 9, and the bases loaded for Saif Barhoum.

Saif can bench press around 250 lbs*. He is one of only a handful of ASL players with true home run power. What's sexier than a walk-off grand slam to beat your most hated rivals? A walk, that's what. Because a walk is the smart play in that situation. And Saif is a smart guy, so he did walk in the winning run, giving his team a 10-9 win and sole possession of 3rd place in the standings.

Unfazed, Bezzig & Lezzig hocked a loogie and headed down to their official team headquarters (Captain Jawad Dabbas' farmhouse in the Jordan Valley) to celebrate. Abu Jeep and his team went all Biblical Locust Plague on anything with an alcohol content, guzzling and swimming until the wee hours of the morning. A couple of their fans joined them (Note: Brooke and I), strictly to document the happenings in a professional and unbiased manner.

*250 lbs. (about 114 kg): That is the exact weight of the woman who knocked on my door the other day, claiming to be starving and begging for my used shoes, so she can sell them to buy food. When I offered her food instead (Note: I am a shoe whore), she turned her back on me and got back in the elevator. It's not like I offered her bacon. Sheesh.

Still trying to get the Buscemi Sandwich out of your head? Good luck with that.